Small Kine Stories- Kids Say Da Darned’est Tings

Me and my Fadah was going Holo-Holo, uh, it was like one Satuhday richual. I would get up, watch cahtoons, maybe eat one bowl cereal but probably not cause… we’d always go McDonald’s. Ho bra, McDonald’s breakfast is so cherry! Anyway, we’d go dea and I’d get like one Cinnamon Danish and Beeg Breakfas’ oa Bacon Cheese Beescuit. I was one skinny, eh shaddup I was, anyway, skinny keed too. But yeah, I’d grind all dat, mostly da Danish bra. I not talkin no wimpy cinnamon roll like da kine dey get now. Dose buggahs was huge and ono wit da melted sugah all over. Talk about broke da mouth. Anyway, one day we went drive-thru uh and had one lady and she was supah tan da kine tan dat I goin look like one crab oa firetruck befo I could even get dat dark. So I tell my fadah, “Eh Dad, she get one nice tan.” But eh, I was one small keed kine so I no really rememba wot I said jus dat I rememba Satuhday Holo-Holo Sessions and dis story for some reason. Anyway, da lady was tan cause she was da kine African-Hawaiian uh. Chee hoo! Brah talk about shame when I tink about um now. Eh, she was supah but from wot I can rememba. Guess das why yea, get da sayin’: “keeds say da darned’est tings”.

More Aloha

En light of world events, I like talk stories about Aloha. Even small kine Aloha can go far brah, let me tell you. You might complain fifty kajillion times about dat frickin bugga who wen cut you off on da road or who wen ack dumb but I bet you get sometin small, sometin dat can only be described as feelin like Aloha dat it makes you smile no matta wot. Sheet, can be one small keed smilin o one big hug from a loved one, o dat strangah who just wen hold da door open for you. Woteva it is, you feel its mana, its energy.Aloha can be defined in so many different kine ways that it reminds me of one of dose words like love, peace, freedom, happiness, compassion, and respect. It’s one of dose where you just gotta say, ‘Ho brah, it’s all dee above” and leave um at dat. It stay all encompassing. It simply is. And you know wot, if can just work hardah at livin’ lidat, everyting goin be okay and even get bettah for our future, our children, da whole world ohana.

I not saying dis is da secret to life and blah blah blah cause I no think dea is one secret anymoa. Da world always goin’ have tragedy and tings we no undastand. Das part of da cycle. If we can just have moa Aloha, o whateva it is in your culture, can be bettah. Oddawise you jus goin end up wit some no make sense kine BS jus like wen happen da odda day in Virginia. Sad dat story. Even moa sad is now get all kine high maka maka kine fockas at da universities who make like dey all prepared for someting lidat. No, frick dat bra, dey not. I telling you da overwhelming majority of student affairs kine people and othas in da world of academia is one lost bunch who forgot why dey stay there: da students.

Da same ting can be sed about a plenny politicians o government officials. Dey forgot why dey dea and who dey stay serving: da peopol. But you know wot, it’s not only dea fault. It’s our fault too fo lettin’ dem slip. It’s too many of us who no say nothin o only say um to one point. And den no moa. Da End. All Pau!

So brothas and sistahs, we need to start livin wit aloha, passion, sometin’ cause if not, only goin get moa bleak den how stay already. Da cycle goin continue fo get moa worse. And den wot…

We neva goin’ eliminate all da madness of life. Always goin get challenges, but if we treat ourselves, and everyone else wit one caring Aloha kine attitude, goin be ok, goin be good, goin be great.

Mahalo ke Akua.

Small Kine Stories – Smile

Ho… Brr-ah!  Just rememba, no mattah how shiddy da day, jus smile.  Das is da main ting fo real-kine, guarans-babearans, no-step-on-da crack and break yo madah’s back.  I go tell you one story…             

I rememba wen I used to work down da grocery store, eh, and how nuts would get.  You get da old farts who stay all mad cause dey no like dey fruits in da same bag as da vegetables.  Den get da punk keeds, you know da kine future O treeple C residents, who try and shoplift da beer.  Sheet, no can even handle one befo get all buss and den palu.  No mattah, still yet they gotta try and ack hard and steal da 24 pack Bud Watah.  Hoooo, wait cuz, gets bettah.  Den dea’s da uppedy, busy-body-ness peopo wit dey Bluetoot stickin out da-side-a-da ear, neva can tell who dey stay talking too .  Dem guys is da worst kine.  Brr-ah!  No can even undastand wot dey tryin fo say or who dey tryin fo talk to.  All you can get out of dea mouths in one I stay bettah den you kine voice dat sound mo like one talking monkey wit dea “ooooo’s” and “ahhh’s”: “Oooo I would like the Grey Poupon in double paper, that’s two now, then plastic. Uh, Hold on.  Ahhh, by golly that’s great results.  Oh, please wait.  I said double paper!”             

Oh sheesh, I could go on go days and days about dem lolos and how f’d work stay or even some of dem can get.  But eh, Brr-ah!  Da main ting is fo smile yeah, cause can make one difference.  I fo real.  You neva know who stay watching like dat cute hapa wahine who is just gettin one bottle water.  Ha.  Nah, fo real kine, jus smile cause can make one difference.  I go tell you one odda story…             

Had dis one time wen one small keed wen smile at me.  Hooo, was da cutest ting.  Eh, no make dat look befo I slap you.  Anyway… I was all agro cause of dose kine people I just wen describe earliah, wen had dis tiny little keed look up and say, “Hi”, and den smile.  Brr-ah!  Wen I saw dat how could I not go “Aww da cute!” inside my head.  Or crack one smile and feel warm inside just like da kine M&M’s dat was in your back pocket all day and stay all smashed and soft?  Das right, uh?  Just wot I thought.             

So yeah… eh Brr-ah!  Just smile already ganfunnit.  I wen tell you all dat and you still frown.  I otta slap you in back-a-da head you grumpy…

Small-Kine Stories- Honk, Honk!

Old guy wen honk his horn twice. Twice.  Dat guy get nerve.  So, I figah I would go apologize, yeah.  Bein da nice guy dat I am and all.  Den, you know wot?  Da fricka wen honk gen.  So dat’s tree times now, uh.  So, I stay getting small kine agro.  But eh, I was still trying for let um go, be nice, blah blah blah.  I wen apologize again and he tell me, he frickin tell me dat I no belong ova thea.  I thinking, you pilau buggah, just cause you never like park normal kine, just cause you had to pull your stupid crazy chestah da molestah kine old van wit no windows in where I was parked so could back in mo easy.  So, I just let um go and start fo drive away.  I stay tinkin all kine stuff, eh.  Den it hits wen I can see he still giving me stink eye in da rear view mirror:  Fuck you… you not da darage ownah!  Shit, he ackin all high maka maka and den, all of one sudden, even though I was driving away, da events wen play inside ma head like one movie, yeah.  Everyting wen happen da same but instead of driving away…           

Flattened tiahs…           

Beat down in his doodoo head wit da kine Timbaland shoes…           

I packin one gun and pop pop pop in his knee caps and hands so he no can walk or do anyting else…           

No!  I get um.  I one rogue cop uh who just wen kicked off da police force for being to rough on da criminals so I trew my badge at da chief and had fo turn in my badge and everyting.  It’s so bad like my Mom no like even look at me.  So I stay kinda down on ma luck uh?  And da buggah, he not so old but he stay insai da mob, no da yakuza yeah, all scars and tattoos and missin fingahs carrying one samurai sword.  He stay smoking and everything happens and he blows smoke in my face.  So I get out da car and he pulls his sword out and swings um at me.  I duck em all Keanu Reeves Matrix style.  He swing again.  I Jackie Chan run up da wall.  He tries one more time and I catch um like clap da hands kine.  He stay struggling to keep going but I just laugh.  Den cause he da villain, he kick me da balls uh.  Cheap shot bastad.  So, I drop down and he stomping on me and like one dumby throws his sword aside and is just kickin my ass to make em look like I no moa gas in da tank… wen…  all of a sudden… Try guess.  Go guess um.  Eh, you lame, no like guess.  How’s you?             

Anyways, I Hulk out bra.  Yeahno?  Das one good one.  Just like Hulkamania only it’s Bradahmania and yeah like da hero I win, blow up his car or someting, go to da beach and drink beer wit one solid wahine.  Yeah, das right beer, not no weak-ass wine coolah or mai-tai.  I talking green bottles, Steinlagah, Heinuhken kine bra.  Chee-hoo!           

Eh, wot you tink?  My movie was solid uh?  Yeah no make lidat you fricka.  You just salty eyes cause you neva tink of em.  Sheesh.  Maybe was good dat old buggah wen ack lidat wit me oddawise I would neva have gotten dis Oscah type idea in da first place.  I should call up dat guy, who is dat guy, you know da one who stay inside all of his movies like Pulp Fiction.  Not even like he one good actor and den he still stay inside um.  Sheesh, now I no can even tink of who dat guy is… 


a person’s true
is rarely shown
if it is
it is rarely seen
people are too afraid to show
who they truly are;
the times they did show
the truth
the values of society
would not allow
the truth(identity)
to even be seen
let alone accepted

identity is unlimited
individuals place limits
on only themselves
one has the power
to manifest
one desires

tap into the source
of individuality,
of peace,
of love,
of truth, of being
that is never found without
can only be found within

George Bush and The 300

It is truly amazing to me how hypocritical people are.  I’ve been hypocritical at times and I’m sure there will be other hypocrisies that I commit.  Do we like living like this? Do we know any other way?

Read me out on this one.

How is it possible for the majority of Americans and arguably most of the world to disapprove of/hate on President Bush and praise the new Democratic Congress while at the same time make The 300 a top movie around the world?

Just ponder that question. I’m not saying Dubya is King Leonidas.  I also don’t think Pelosi talking to the Syrians is of the same essence as that snake in the grass that had the side-deal with the Persians.

America is at war because of the attack that occurred on 9/11.  Sure we’ve been told a number of other reasons why the war happened, is valid or isn’t.  The bottom line is that we are where we are because of the past and 9/11 events were surely a catalyst among others to get the world where it is. The 300 has the Spartans going to war because of Xerxes’ Persian war machine’s impending invasion of Greece.  If anything, the Spartans were less diplomatic about the situation than America has been. At any rate, it seems a tad bits, ironically close to the reality of the past few years.Frank Miller’s comic version of The 300 came out in 1998.  Could it be that Dubya got his foreign policy agenda after reading the graphic novel?  Better check the circulation for the upcoming candidates and see what reads they have to get an idea of what lies ahead.  I’m banking that Senator Clinton is not reading Good Housekeeping…Just some food for thought.  People often love fiction yet despise fact.  There is no changing that.  And what’s happening in the world today is the stuffing of some of the greatest tales told and yet to be recorded.

Hawaii Legislative Session ’07 Update

What time is it?

Law time!  That’s what.

The Hawaii Legislature has a little under a month left.  This is the interesting point because the bills have crossed over and went through both the House and the Senate and back.  This is the point of the session where both sides meet up in conference and decide the fate of the various bills that have survived the first year of the bi-ennium. 

Now would be the time to look at what is actually left and make your calls to the Legislators to vote on what is left.  That’s about all the public can do as there will no longer be any public hearings for the conference hearings.

So what happened to that taro bill or that appropriation for the cause in your community or that controversial issue?

Fear not, there is still another year for that HB(House Bill) or SB(Senate Bill) for that little known cause you are passionate about.  So rally the troops for next session and hit them (the Legislators) early on in the session.  Tip: Contact not only your Rep. or Senator, but the chairs of the respective committee that the Bill you’re interested in is referred too.

And if you don’t like a bill… In my humblest of opinions, chances are if it didn’t make it out this session, there is an equally high chance that it will not make it out next session unless some serious work and lobbying is done. 

Why?  Legislators will be introducing more bills into the mix in the ’08 session, in addition to the thousands that are currently in limbo, filed away, waiting for that hearing.  I guess the hearing is like the NCAA Basketball Tournament: the Big Dance to become a Champion; law in this case. 

One also has to consider that our lawmakers our human and may or may not like a bill, killing it in committee as a result.  Just part of what happens in our “Representative Democracy”. 

There’s ultimately the Governor factor to figure in.  It takes the signature of the Governor, the Honorable Linda Lingle, to make a bill for an act, into a law.  Without it, nada, nathan, no mas.  The Governor has the power to stall on something.  That’s why some appropriations for money never see light for many years, oddly timed with an election…

Then there’s the Veto power.  With talk of the President vetoing Congress’ actions, there isn’t much need to go indepth about the Veto. 

Do you get it?  If you don’t, I can’t blame you, it’s such a complicated, convoluted, compacted chain of events that is hard to understand.  I’d bet some of elected officials don’t quite understand it themselves.

 Aloha ke Akua.