Falsed

I remember the first time I wen get falsed
Wasn’t falsed like outta no wea the punch comes
Was more like something wen happen from outta no wea
I was still a keed
We stay behind our house
Guava Fight!
Was like paintball with guavas
Anyway, I got hit from one unripe lilikoi
Da bugga was like a golf ball
Das how hard was
And you know wea it wen hit?
The worst place for one guy
Enough said

I remember the first time I wen get falsed
Was right after high school
My friends’ brother wen pass away
Was like one shot that stunned me
I couldn’t see
Was so sad for one small keed
Full of life, so much ahead
For his light to be put out
All I could think about was my friend
His family
I remember looking at my Mom
She was crying
All around me, people crying
We celebrated you

I remember the first time I wen get falsed
My Grandpa wen go on
It was kind of drawn out
But you sometimes,
You no accept the inevitable
So much pain, so much change
Once so strong…
I felt guilt
I had been in college for some time
In the time he had been sick
I’d only seen him a few times
The last time I could only say thanks
Words fell short
After it happened
I talked to Gran
It was so hard to hear her cry
In the time to follow
We saw the love you two of you shared
The notes you left for her
How you cleaned up your things
We still feel your presence

I remember the first time I wen get falsed
I was pau college
My friend wen pass away
Our friend wen make one tribute video
Put’em on his myspace
Was so sad but I could only smile cause it did you justice
Then had the funeral
Brah, was like I was getting pummeled
I saw his brother, someone I looked up to in high school
He neva remember my name but he recognized me from somewhere
I couldn’t say nothing
Neva had to
Didn’t know what to
I sat down at the service
Looked around me
And all were in tears
So many of us knew each other
So many came to remember you

I remember the first time I wen get falsed
It was like a really long one
Like I’d been falsed repeatedly
I was numb
My love had come to a halt
It was irreparable
And I was so drained
I thought it couldn’t get worse
Then we found out about you
We lost you as soon as we found out about you
We lost you before we knew you
People would say
“It’s better this way.”
How is the death of a baby better?
I couldn’t process it
All we had was each other
We celebrated you
Even though our hearts were heavy
You fought and we loved you even though
Our paths were not one
I don’t know if my words reach you
Just know I carry you with me
You are the reason
I believe in making the world better
My son, my daughter, my unborn
We loved you so much
For always, I remember you

I remember getting falsed
Each time was like the first time
Each time I neva saw it coming
I wen learn
I neva going like getting falsed
Life can false me all it wants
Because I goin make it through
Goin carry on
I goin remember

Mahalo ke Akua

This is dedicated to Kenneth Mitchell, Keenan McCully, Clinton Shelton, and “Sparta Peanut” and their loved ones. May their memories live on through us.

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One Reply to “Falsed”

  1. Quite different and gave me cause to reflect in that I always thought of getting falsed as in false punch. But, you are right, you can get falsed by a tragic event in life that causes pain and sorrow…

    Like

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