Grey and Dirty

The grey and dirty Nissan pick-up reminded me of you for some reason even though back then, it was still brand new… It was what I would pick you up in. I’d take you “away” as you so eloquently characterized what we did, our trysts, our love.

Oh who am I kidding? We were just two dumb kids fucking. Fucking with each other in every way. I loved you when you loved him. Then when I loved her and you realized you loved me. We’re like bad Credit Card commercial.

Movie for two- $20
Popcorn- $5
A lifetime of damage to one another- Not worth it.

Do you remember the time I was engaged and you came back into my life? Now wasn’t that just priceless, your timing was at least. There I was at the sitting at the rehearsal dinner, everyone raising glasses, then you showed up. Did you know that I slept in my car for three weeks because she thought I had something going on with you at the time?

I guess that was just karma coming back my way for waiting at your apartment three years earlier, using the key you gave me, bringing a cart worth of daisies, your favorite flower. Had I known you were out with your fiance, I never would have popped back in. I can say that now as hindsight really is 20/20.

(Sigh) And look at us both, love’s victims, love’s fools. Have you ever really had a relationship and not thought of me? Have I? This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg with us nor will it be that which lurks in ocean’s depths.

Maybe that old Nissan reminds me of what we were, what we really were, what we still are. Grey and dirty.

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