Awakening

One of my favorite things to do is watch trees.  True story- I once saw the energy of a tree vibrate. Quite a scary experience as I thought I was going crazy but I guess it was the Sacred telling me that it was alive in all things.

In following the dreams, I find myself here in Maryland and it is extremely peaceful. I’m staying right off the Gunpowder River, a jump from Mariner’s Point Park and man if this isn’t rejuvenating!

As I take in the experience here, I have seen that Sacred life in the trees as they are minus the energetic vibration.  I was always one who needed the wake up call to pay attention but I realize that life isn’t about the big, intense “aha” moments, more like appreciating that the “aha” is always present, whether it be in the sway of a tree in the wind, the light kiss of cold rain on your face, or the gentle flow of the tide.

And… it is totally applicable to the rest of my life. I was all Spring and Summer, all about the new ideas, sunshine and relaxation. I realize as I am going through my first true fall, that the Sacred is in all the seasons and it is up to me to adapt and change as they do.

I didn’t do this in the relationship I recently got out of and I don’t blame her for feeling tired.  It wasn’t only not being present where I erred, I failed to accept the seasons of life, the ebb and flow as it is. In turn, this experience is showing me the beauty in all aspects of life.

I can see how I took so many things for granted in life in general. In living in this minimal constant state of shock as I have over the past month, I’ve grown increasingly grateful for what I do have (being alive, clothing, shelter, food) and find great joy in things I overlooked in the past.

What’s funny (to me), is I find myself seeking gainful employment with benefits, not out of fear, but because I do enjoy working and want to be a part of a community again and to contribute. 

I no longer feel this extreme sense of there’s only one way to get where I want to be.  Life is about the experience, enjoying that ride, and if I were in a boat, the thing would have to be balanced in order to flow with that go as gracefully as possible.  That fits better these days.   

Mahalo ke Akua.

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