Adventures in Urban Mysticism: …

I feel as though something inside me is dying.  I haven’t been able to place it but I find deep sparks of emotion bubbling.  Oh the joy, the ride that is the spiritual journey

I was given a calling at the age of 23.  Here I am, 8 years later, age 31, and I have an idea what that means.  I see that I have been given a spiritual experience to share and that I have been able to share and guide others of all ages.  The humanity of me, the part of me that shudders at the awe of the unknown, no longer is in the driver’s seat.

“You so far out there.”  The words of my teacher resonate.  She was emphasizing that I look at things from so many different angles, going within so deeply that though it isn’t anything new, it’s presentation is in a way that is new for someone my age.

I’m scared.  I’m not scared of living.  Of being fully because my best friend is a 72 year old woman.  I’m scared because this is it, be who I am and accept that there is a stark degree feeling alone in that.  This is the threshold that I was told about at the beginning of last year, prior to the implosion of my life as I was forced into submission, to go within to listen closer.

I’m tired.  I’ve worked hard at this.  A mentor once said, to those around you, they may not understand, but only you can fully see the transformation and realize it was work.

I see how I created the experience of my life.  I can read the writing on the wall backwards and am quick to catch the negative patterns as they start to unfold so that those pattern don’t recreate the wheel of suffering I was once addicted to as I head forward.

I now realize something that I never wanted to admit.  Life truly is subjective because regardless of finding a connection via feelings, there is absolutely no other physically living person who can relate.  It’s just not possible.  The only possible way to relate is via consciousness and unless we transcend our outdated ways to thinking and being, we are destined to fail as a civilization in the eternal quest. That’s the why the search for God, for Love, whatever term you wish to use to describe the Divine as it is imprinted within and all around is so important.

 

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: Man Created Evil

You’d never see this as Breaking News anywhere though it’d be funny to see as a CNN, BBC, FOX NEWS, ideally, TMZ Exclusive story (because if it’s not on TMZ it’s not news (please note the sarcasm)).  Oh well, to make up for it…

A Simple Voice Exclusive: Time to get back to Nature because humans created Evil…

As I navigated 20 years of spiritual crisis to reach a place where I can feel okay with however I’m feeling, whether that be stoked or pissed, and get on with my life, I have come to see the world quite differently.  Could be the fact that it took adopting crazy, new, different, odd, stupid, great, irresponsible, amazing, selfish, cool, whatever one uses to describe it, way of living my life.  Could be inside I was tired, my Soul was like: Brah, this sucks, let’s shake it up.  Well it did suck and it got shook!

At any rate, I look at things from as many sides as I can in an effort to cultivate neutrality, release judgment, feel lighter inside, and the real one, see how it all connects, all is one.

The only thing that helps me is to really look at Nature.  The Universe, the Earth, Nature, was all here before each of us.  Before the each of us that gave life to our generation and so on and so backwards into the past.  To the chagrin of the child-like (that’s a good thing) scientist I met at the beach one day, it’s all energy.  Our words put together stories (a great many stories) at understanding our experience of that energy, what we call life.  Those stories include words like God and the Devil, Good and Evil, etc.

I hear alot of New Agers say that it’s all Love.  I’ve said that and have also said God is Love and it’s all good.  It’s my way of explaining it in a way that works for me.  BUT.  BUT.  BUT.

I believe that BALANCE is having one foot in the Light, the other in the Dark, and each person is the bridge between the two.

People created Evil.  There was no evil in Nature before people came through.  Religions and ideologies do not kill.  It’s people that go through with the deed.  Nature has death and it’s considered just a part of nature.  I think that murder, rape, other atrocities amongst humanity are atrocities because it conflicts with our human nature. Many of us do not allow healthy expression of our Light and Dark so when it manifests, bam, bam, bam leading into deep wounds that travel from generation to generation.

We live like we are in competition with everything which in turn grows aggression and sows seed of hurt.  There is inner conflict, conflict in relationships, and probably the root of it all and worst of all, we live in conflict with Nature.

How foolish are we to think that we can predict what’s going to happen?  Honestly, whenever I’ve checked the weather in my life, it’s been wrong.  It’s a prediction.  Same thing I tell people when I read them.  I’ve been to many readers in my life and two things happen, what they say comes true or it doesn’t.  The things that came true are what I focused on and believed and the same thing with the other side, I believed it wouldn’t happen so it didn’t.

Which leads to what the point of this blog is…

Man created Evil.  There is some dark stuff that happens with humanity.  But we are the reason for it.  Not God.  Not the Devil.  Not Angels.  Not Demons.  It’s funny how we don’t want to be accountable for the good things (it was all God) but when it comes down to the shit we push the blame (it was Evil).  Which is even more funny because alot of people who harp on Satan fail to see that Jesus’ message was also about accountability.

I have a question.  Do you know what Hell is?  Many will say Hell is where there is no God.

I ALSO have a hypothesis that is different than the fire and brimstone.  If Hell is a place with no God, and if Life is energy, and if energy can be felt, and the arguably the best feeling is one of being Loved or feeling Love and is a Loving energy, and as they say in Hawaiian Aloha ke Akua God (or God is Love), isn’t it probable that the only Hell is a place where we do not live in Love?

Just a thought.  Glad I live in an age where they don’t burn people at the stake anymore.  But on the real, I don’t know.  I guess I’m a little perplexed.  The more I watch Nature, the more it makes sense that life can be all Love, a realistic Love, where yeah, we’re given all we may need and desire but we gotta work hard, be patient because seasons change and no one season is ever alike because no day is ever alike.

I guess I’m boycotting this pushing the blame onto dark shit.  Dark will happen if we focus on it.  It’s unrealistic to only focus on Light.  Life is balance.  There is beauty in both.  We wouldn’t have a shadow when walking if it wasn’t supposed to be.  Know what I mean?

Anyway, (microphone drops).  Shoots.

 

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: Honesty Isn’t Always Flowery…

“I no longer step lightly on eggshells.  I stomp on them.”

I was called in early last night and I immediately wondered who was I going to meet.  Don’t know why, but that just popped in.  Well, I was told this a few times last year by a mentor: expect the unexpected. A woman walks in all smiles, flirty, talks me down in price, it’s my first reading of the day, so I figure sure, let’s get rolling (count it as Ice Cold Higashi would say).  As soon as she enters the Tree, the energy changes.  If it was a Disney movie, the wind would have picked up and blown out all but one of the candles in the room.  It was a feeling, that is for sure.  The smile, the mask dissolved as a heavy furrow of the brow and her energy took over and felt like it was pushing me away.  I did the normal start/intro but I rolled the chair back because I could feel the heaviness everywhere.

I should have thought deeper on her first words: I just don’t want to hear anything bad.  When people tell me that I reply I don’t believe that there is bad on the spiritual level.  I can see how things could be perceived as bad looking at it solely from the human perspective but adopting a more holistic/inclusive paradigm has helped me to take in the Journey and not be so quick to judge what is happening because the Journey unfolds as it does.  So I shared that (in one ear and out the other).

I did her reading and she peaked on anything that could be perceived as “negative” and spun tales, so much as focusing in on cards and stating that it looked bad.  I had to say, if you look for bad you will find it.  I learned that the hard way.  Where we pay our attention, we create, we find (I tell my cousin I’m buying us Audi R8’s when I hit bestseller status and each day I see more and more Audis, including an R8 the other night, getting closer, Yes!!!).  It was the first time that I ever had anyone storm out.  As I sat and watched, I had already concluded I was going to ask her to leave and not charge her because her ego was taking control and having a fit and there was no point in continuing.  The moment I finished that thought is when she began her rant and left in tears.

I took a breath and laughed because I had to.  I had a choice to do so.  I could have made myself a victim by the experience, I did get hosed on time and money basically but the woman was obviously hurting.  It was obvious she was disconnected from her own sense of well-being so I was not going to add to it by chasing her down.  And I didn’t feel like a victim.  If anything, I felt like maybe that dynamic would allow her to reflect and find a lesson in it as the lessons were there, even for me. A big lesson felt like it’s okay to call it how you see it so long as it vibes with what is coming from the Heart, regardless of it steps on someone’s toes.

I also laughed because that had to be the reason I was called in early.  That is the meaning I’m assigning at least.  Had she visited any other Reader the message wouldn’t have been there in that fashion.  I really don’t pull punch these days.  Compassion, honesty doesn’t necessary mean sugar coat, it means being real.  I had a very unrealistic view on Love in the past, very conditional and based on the responses of others.  I lived more from fear and as a result didn’t always let my fire speak or was hesitant to speak from the Heart.  I’ve gotten burned every which way I’ve approached life, acting from Love or fear.  I’d rather act and speak from Love as a choice, because it honors what is going on inside. Because either way, I don’t know what anyone else is going to do and at least I’m being true to me, which I think is healthy, and if I had to say if anything is good, it is healthy.

The woman would come by later and put 5 dollars through the window with a smile while I was doing a reading.  I said No but she insisted.  I don’t know why the karmic tie we had played out as it did but that is what it is.  Was it bad?  Was I hurt?  No and no.  Was it enjoyable?  No, not at all.  Did I learn?  Yes.

And it’s the learning that takes me back, gets me up each day, feet hit the floor, signing on with Team Bring It (to quote the Rock), saying and receiving a Good Morning from the Good Lord (also to quote the Rock) and hearing the Devil say oh sh!t, it’s these guys (also to quote, eh, you get the point).

The Devil, Hell, in my opinion, is the torment from living in the fear that the ego uses to control us.  That woman’s ego was tormenting her.  She couldn’t see her own beauty, her own power.  And that is was is okay all the time regardless of external validation.  It’s okay because the Soul is there, ready, to take us to a better place, to show us our tranquility within.

That’s important because we never truly know what to expect from others, from Nature, from a world that is impacted by such a collective consciousness, an energy in constant flux.  It is special because despite the storm of energy, the storminess of others, our Soul is connected to the calm, the I, the Eternal You, the Eternal Me.

That is priceless.  No experience can take the value of that place within away, ever.  I send you the best my sister and I thank you for your time stopping in.

Laughing into a new…

By Jason M.A. Walter for 434 Tattoo and originally posted here.

Walking into 434 Tattoo for the next step in the sleeve telling the story of my spiritual crisis and transformation, the Dark Night of the Soul if you will, was exactly what I’ve come to look for in life: comedy and healing.  I did a great job at creating some drama recently and have been refocusing via training martial arts and more meditation to get back to living the comedy in life.  Well this trip to the always good vibin’ 434 Honolulu tattoo shop served up comedy and healing…

I walked in and the place was packed.  All the team, Adam, Marko, and Andy were there, two Japanese ladies on vacation, Adam’s wife and son, and the stars of the comedy, a mother and daughter on vacation.  The daughter was a here for some cheerleading event and wanted her first tattoo, on her foot.  Tattooing hurts, I’m not going to lie, and neither will many artists and people with tattoos.  You’ve got the occasional people who like to make like it’s nothing but no joke, it hurts.  Well…

Apparently getting a tattoo on your foot is enough to make you hate your life.  I mean, I’ve three on my rib cage and if anything that made me love my life but anyway, the young lady started to scream.  It was the craziest thing I ever saw.  I was totally compassionate at first but then I couldn’t help but laugh.  It was like I was in the middle of a reality tv show, a movie, and a dream all rolled into one.  Everyone was laughing.  The Japanese tourists were rolling and making jokes in Japanese.  The mother was losing it.  Everyone.  It was beyond words.  This article can do it no justice.

The best part was when she screamed “I hate my life!”  to which Adam gave her some wisdom: “Don’t hate your life.  If you’re going to hate something, hate the world.”  We all had another good laugh and Adam was a wizard man, busting that piece out in 15 minutes, despite her moving, falling off the chair, and asking for many breaks.

She came and sat next to me and asked how it looked.  Satisfied despite the life hating and pain she ended it with: “Pretty legit!”

I nearly pissed myself, it was so comical.  Next up to bat was me.  We were adding on to an already begun journey along my arm.  All the tattoos that Adam has done for me have been based on what I’ve seen in dreams, down to the location.  This was extending the first part of a Black Jaguar, Black Panther that I’d seen crawling up my arm in a dream.  It would be my 7th custom tattoo on 7/07 of all days, very symbolic indeed.

I laid out on the table and Andy walks up and says: “Dude that’s going to hurt!”  After the episode earlier and the subsequent discussion that alot of it was mental, I was like: “F@ck, why would you say that right when it’s going to start?”  Andy and I ended up talking about rib cage tattoos and how that is awful but that this would hurt as well, which was honest and I respect that.  Nothing so far has compared to the rib cage tattoo but this one was no joke.

“Here that rattle?  That’s the needle hitting the bone.”  Adam says with a grin as the outline of grazed the elbow.  I don’t recall now if that was the worst part, it definitely wasn’t tea though that’s for sure.  This was the first time I didn’t ask for a break while getting a tattoo.  It was also the most that I’ve ever watched of one get done, a fascinating process.  Amazing in a sense that I don’t like getting shots but can do this.  I suppose the mind is a funny beast, lol, just ask our cheery friend from earlier.

“Just keep talking to Andy.”  Adam said.  Andy and I trained Jiu-Jitsu for a short time so we always end up talking about training.  We also know some of the same people because of that and yeah.  He eventually left and I just gazed up at the ceiling in between watching the tattoo machine paint my arm.  The last time I was on this table it was to finish up the second part of a lion idea I’d dreamed of the night I had gotten my first tattoo, my oath to choosing love over fear, as fear had paralyzed me in so many ways and I my spiritual crisis went full bloom.  It’s been a short/fast/long, jam packed year since.  Each tattoo telling an intricate part of the tale, serving as a reminder of who I was and how far I’ve traveled in conscious growth.

When the tattoo was completed, I could only smile.  This was one of the more painful tattoos I went through, right behind the rib cage.  It was very draining as well.  The location on the elbow and the inside of the arm along the joint made it feel like the Being was burying its claws into my arm.  That made it mean even more.  My lions are just heads and though this doesn’t show the complete body, it is the most part of anything that I have other than words.  I am excited to see the finished product but this one means alot and it is very satisfying.

Every tattoo shows the ingenuity of Adam’s vision and I am amazed each time at how something can start as a stencil and come to life.  It is so amazing because I think in words, not images and to see how this flows together from what I shared and how he crafted it is priceless to me.  How it looks like the body is connected is (insert crazy way to describe here).  To feel it climbing my arm, as it had done in the dream so long ago is beyond description.  I’ve been telling the Universe that I have paid my dues this lifetime, the last year the climax.  I’m ready for the Dark Night of the Soul to pass and this ritual was most welcome, most needed in my healing.

Much thanks to the 434 Tattoo Ohana and the rest of the cast for making my last tattoo meaningful and filled with a laugh that will last beyond this lifetime.

(Mis)Adventures in Urban Mysticism: When (Not) Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

Flashback: June 21, 2011.  I got a ticket with two charges.  But first, before we get to that… (I know Dad, I always leave you in suspense with my writing)  That whole day, for whatever reason, I refused to listen to my intuition.  I don’t know why, I just didn’t feel like listening to the Soul’s chirping that day.  I was at the beach and heard: Go sit under a tree and meditate. As much as I love trees, I’m far from the Buddha and didn’t feel like it.  I then went to the Kahala and parked.  As I was parking I heard: Don’t park here… You never park in front of poles. Which is true.  I don’t usually because I like to drive through the other stall if I can when I leave but on that day I was like egh.

So I spend about an hour between the bookstore and the grocery store, researching some dinner ideas because I was cooking for a friend and was trying to put together something nice.  I leave, head to the car and notice a police car parked behind me.  I walk up and a Security Guard and a Dude leaning against a car looked at me and I them.

This your car. Yes. Blah Blah.  We got the car owner.

What?  Immediately I think, should’ve paid attention.   Turns out, I was accused of hitting the car, fleeing the scene, and not leaving any info.  What?  I didn’t hit the car.  WT… eff…  Anyhow, from the camera angle, two cars had parked in that stall, the one before mine, and mine.  They backed out the way where it would have hit but I turned in from the other way.  Dude just came out and notice cosmetic damage and did what he had to.  I get that.  But talk about crazy luck, right?

So the police come out and we do that whole dance and it danced mellowly.  I’m kind of pissed because I had just been given the car, and of course hadn’t received the insurance cards yet.  Which was lovely because when I told my Mom I got the car, she texted: Make sure you get insurance.  It’s 1000 dollar fine. Which I know is Mom-Code for: you’re always going to be my child and I want to help.  That’s cool.  I get that.  I am 31 though and a part of me thought of the scene in Talladega Nights where the guy who played the giant guy in Green Mile says: Don’t you put that evil on me Ricky Bobby! (I kid).

So I didn’t want to deal with the thing for various reasons and took a couple breaths.  So I was going to just take the ticket and be on my way.  Well, there was a Mrs. Officer (seriously like out of the Lil Wayne video) who asked me if I really wanted to admit guilt.  I guess she could see how adamant I was that I didn’t hit it and I said no and filled out the paperwork stating my side.  The Dude was cool about it, he didn’t want to press charges and the other Police Officer told me that it wouldn’t go to court.  (Sigh of relief, now I get to deal with the insurance bit…).  The police left, I started laughing at the circumstance and filled out the security paperwork.

So fast forward a months, tabled it, sorted through my self-created hurricane relating to some other areas and got back to the calm of the storm.  Stepped up the meditation.  Say thank God for Jiu-Jitsu/Grappling because it’s been there through this hellacious uncertainty of a Saturn Return, Dark Night of the Soul, quarter-life crisis, why I am here-itis.

And I went to court this morning.  I had mixed feelings.  My teacher is pro-everything is just an experience.  I agree but there are some experiences I’m not really interested in for obvious reasons.  I woke up and was like alright, if I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it in style.  Pull out the tie (blue), the long-sleeve (grey), chino’s (black), leather dress shoes (black).  I looked pretty pimp.  Where a woman thought I was in High School last night, guess what lady, I had the big boy pants on today (BLATANTLY JOKING : p).

I go, I sit there with my insurance cards and whatnot, I have no idea what to expect.  A friend told me to bust out a pen and paper because you’ll hear some stories.  I didn’t talk to very many people about it, this is probably my parents first hearing of it (since now both are rocking the social network phenomenon of Facebook and this will be posted there) because I didn’t want to hear the insurance thing.

So yeah, sitting there and like a dream I see a former boss from a different life in a system called politics, stroll in, frak yes, the Angels got my back.  I just thought about this one in particular a few days ago, thought last night, I should have emailed him.  (Hi-5, manifested that one).

I watch the deal because they do the cases where people have counsel first.  He leaves, I make a run to go talk to him, the small part of my ego saying: bench warrant, bench warrant, bench warrant.  I hit skip on my mental playlist and landed on a track: I have power in my life, no coincidence, he wouldn’t be here just because.

Well, he frees up, we talk, he says he’ll help me out.  Soooooo…

I get off for substantial compliance (you can breathe now, Mom) b/c of the insurance, the thing I was actually in the wrong for.  And I get to go to trial for the other thing.  Great.

I take a breath.  We talk outside, he was a God-send, took over the whole thing, scheduled the trial for when he’s down there.  I only have to do a couple out of pocket charges on that part.  Exhale, sigh of relief.

Everything’s going to be okay.  I’m alive.  It all happened for some reason and well, this chapter just gets to read a little longer, or the twist will turn later but I have to say: Thank you God, thank you energy, thank you cool heads.

Remains to be seen what comes next but we’ll find out in September.  The first two steps have worked out better than I imagined and I have to err on the side of positive vibes and pray that the highest good will come out of the next stage.

Note: This blog was written with the intent of making something not laughable into a laughable experience.  As much as I could seethe over being in the wrong place at the wrong time, wrongfully accused, it reinforced within me a valuable lesson (listen closer), and it put me into the right place at the right time.  Had I stood in fear and worried about the bench warrant or felt like a victim, my eyes wouldn’t have been open wide enough to pay attention and see an opportunity when it appeared.  And that’s life.  At least from my observations.  Sit in fear, paralysis.  Act from Love, opportunities come in waves.

Free Verse

The Four Skulls

I wear between 22 pieces of Jade

Those Four Represent Four Parts

Which connect the whole

For though each is a part

It has its birth

A Death, a cycle

A Rebirth

Cocoon

Four is an important

Number in nature

All built on One

And Doubled

To

2

And Two, 2 more times

Is 4, each a total opposite of the other

Spring is to Fall

As Summer is to Winter

Poles

Balance

Four is the Whole

The weaving of one Ego w/a Soul

And then link that in Love

And there you have it all

In Energy

The Nature

The Riddle

That Souls select the vessel

With which to enter

such an

amazing

time

to live

N

O

W

N

O

W

N

O

W

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: It Was All a Dream…

“It was all a dream…” ~ Notorious B.I.G.

As I look back at the year where the Dark Night of the Soul took hold, where the master thief of the Higher Self crept out, made its presence known, grappling the ego into submission to the Spirit,  the only way I can make sense is by remembering the dream that prompted the eruption.

I am walking through a city that looks like NYC, the tall buildings, I walk through the park.  I walk through a place that has a casino.  I now am walking up a hill, the homes, the structures remind me of what I saw in Huntington Beach a few months earlier.

My journey(s) took me to Seattle, New York, New Orleans, San Francisco, and home, Hawaii.  It also included other stops but as I identified the stops, how they flowed together, what they each represented to me, whether the Hand of the Spirit wrote it, whether my Soul played a role, is inconsequential as conscious life is being able to make sense of the stories we tell and weed out the lies the ego tells to keep one trapped in illusion.

The best I can do, again, is to interpret my waking experience as it unfolded as I would a dream and identify what each place symbolized to me.

Seattle represented Wholeness.  It was the first time in a very long time that I had a feeling my Soul was breathing, that everything was okay.  I would end up on the hill in the dream while in Seattle.  I had the location wrong but I’d seen the location beforehand.  Seattle was to be my last stop, so Wholeness would normally be the end of the journey but I needed the teaser beforehand because I was still so mired in Fear.

New York and New Jersey showed me why it is so special to share experiences not only with the Spirit but with others, all others, and even more so is it necessary to cherish the company of loved ones for you never know when someone comes in and out of life, whether it be due to circumstance or Death.  Sometimes both, as Death does not only claim us at the end of the Flesh, but as events of life develop, very much a part of the ebb and flow of the Seasons of Life.

New Orleans was rebirth and here I would encounter the casino as I had seen it in my dream.  I spent many a day by the Mississippi, reflecting as she meandered, her ability to change location from one state to another as she felt, inspirational, and also the area I really had to learn rebirth for my addiction to the ego’s agenda was quite strong.  Rebirth an important theme, a reminder that each moment, each experience is brand new so respect it as that (I still struggle with this).  It is also through rebirth that I was able to let the Sculptor that is the Soul clear away that which blocked the creation from within being expressed.  Rebirth was/is necessary, because only in being reborn and allowing full expression of the change demanding recognition, stemming from within was I able to salvage the damage my psyche had experienced due to my own choice in limiting views and beliefs.  The ego builds up a life of expectation to control, being strengthened each step of the way as the power the ego is empowered whether we live from Love or Fear because it’s goal is to craft its own agenda, and if our attention is focused on that controlling agenda we are blinded.

San Francisco was healing.  I planted this seed.  Whether it’s the “I” as in the I Am part of me or the I as in my conscious mind does not matter because I established it.  And what did I learn?  I had dreams and saw signs (both my ways of navigating the journey) everywhere which I can see now that I was always ready and that healing is a lifelong journey.  Eventually the Soul leaves because it has worked on all it can in a lifetime, some Souls it’s sooner, others it’s later, either way, healing flows throughout.

Home… Hawaii.  When I was 23, as can be seen by previous blogs, the excerpts from my book on here, I was called on a spiritual journey.  I was told the Spirit of the Hawaiian Islands had a higher calling for me.  A year ago, I told the Universe I would give up that which I loved most, which at the time was my idea of what would make me whole and the love of my life, in order to share what’s in my Heart with the world.  I often minced words, thinking that it was about living my dream.  No, it’s about realizing that this life is a like a dream and we have the ability in our waking state to have a lucid experience to enjoy it more fully.  It just takes slowing down and paying attention.  Not an overnight process as my journey since being called took eight years give or take some change and life is presented me with more experiences, more lessons.  But I feel like I can make my way through anything because of this place…

Home.  Home is everywhere because it is within.  The Spirit of the Hawaiian Islands is symbolically Aloha, something just like Love, like God, is not quite describable but as an experience can be felt.  Regardless of where I am physically in life, regardless of circumstance, I have learned how to get to my true home of the Spirit and to embrace this life, its twists, its turns, because the dream will surely end, much like dreams we have when we sleep, the dream will surely end when it does, suddenly, and that’s it.

Thank you Life.  I needed that.