Rituals of Release

When I was in New Orleans last year, I heard within tell me to throw the ring that my ex had given me for Father’s Day into the Mississippi River.  I held onto it at the time because of what it represented.  Earlier this year, having felt that intellectually and emotionally I was released I decided to release in a physical way.  I stood above Diamond Head one night and threw the ring into the ocean as a way to ritualize my experience.  On my right hand, I wore a bracelet that I made to symbolize protection of my physical being, and off it went with the throw.  The inner message that came: All you need is spiritual protection.

I proceeded to have a bonfire where I burned everything that was given to me and would return to the ocean to throw the remainder of things that could not be burned, into the ocean as well.  I released it all because all that I can really carry on are the memories and I’m choosing to honor that fondly because we’ve choice really how to feel about different experiences and I’m pretty stoked at how I’ve expanded in the last year and the experiences that I had.

Interestingly enough that later opened a pocket of experience where I would feel love quite deeply again and while it scared me, I was not afraid to express it.  I do not regret the experience though it did cause some suffering because I had to leap past my own fear to open up whether it is reciprocated or not, to walk knowingly into the face of uncertainty.  And really, it taught me so much about how far I had come in just under a year, seeing as last July my life blew up and the end was not near.  Where once I was so dependent on hearing someone else tell me that they loved me, here I stand able to say it and accept whether it comes back or not because I know within I am loved and when I allow the conscious mind to relax, there I do sit and can always rest.

The suffering I have experienced at times in my life’s journey has been exactly what I needed to remind me that suffering is choice.  Pain is not a choice.  Pain is real but suffering is unnecessary and is self-inflicted based on where our attention is pointed and refusal to allow pain to be what it is.  My attention was continually pointed at suffering because I had acquired many limiting beliefs over the years about my own worth.  Mainly that I do not deserve and that’s a good one to watch these days because I’m still shaking the cobwebs out.

I go through things fast.  I don’t think people get that and that can be scary.  I could see that.  It’s funny because allot of lights burst off for me today, like I feel like I lived a year today and that catapulted into a three hour writing session into the third book, THE BOOK I dreamt I would write.  I have also seen in recent months how I was able to contextualize both the euphoria at growth and the pain of re-creating old patterns of behavior sit side-by-side.  We really do create the highest good in conjunction with what we fear most.  I am at the very least grateful to know that somehow this experience will assist others, even if it’s just one because I have evidence in life that it is all a part of something.  Each experience I have, teaches me and in turn I meet someone who I can better relate to because of it, who needs to feel connected.  Funny how that works.

I must also honor the part of me that also wonders who will read these words.  Whether they will be seen by either of the Hearts that played a role in these realizations and whether anyone realizes how grateful I am for having each and every encounter in my life?  While that is not why I write, not why I love, it’s still a wonder, a part of me that I must honor because it is a part of my energy at this point and time. It’s funny how that works too.  I know, I believe that the only Love that can fill me is within yet I still fall into the crack that desires to experience something shared with another.  Oh life, lol, you bastard.  I love you!  Note: And it would be life to only make me clear when I jarred my brain via concussion years ago.

All’s I know is that it’s a blessing to be alive and here I am, still standing, a little taller, much lighter because I choose to actively release suffering from my experience, another ongoing focus.  Where age 30’s mantra was “Choose Love,” I now have “Release Suffering” as a reminder at 31.

Thanks much Universe!

Here’s an affirmation that is quite powerful that might assist anyone out there grappling with their own inner connection, as it is so easy to do so.  Focusing on this while visualizing a violet flame, white or pink light does wonders in releasing negative energies and patterns:

I am the Violet Consuming Flame

I am Light

I am the Violet Consuming Flame

I am Love

I am the Violet Consuming Flame

I release All

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