As I look back at the year where the Dark Night of the Soul took hold, where the master thief of the Higher Self crept out, made its presence known, grappling the ego into submission to the Spirit, the only way I can make sense is by remembering the dream that prompted the eruption.
I am walking through a city that looks like NYC, the tall buildings, I walk through the park. I walk through a place that has a casino. I now am walking up a hill, the homes, the structures remind me of what I saw in Huntington Beach a few months earlier.
My journey(s) took me to Seattle, New York, New Orleans, San Francisco, and home, Hawaii. It also included other stops but as I identified the stops, how they flowed together, what they each represented to me, whether the Hand of the Spirit wrote it, whether my Soul played a role, is inconsequential as conscious life is being able to make sense of the stories we tell and weed out the lies the ego tells to keep one trapped in illusion.
The best I can do, again, is to interpret my waking experience as it unfolded as I would a dream and identify what each place symbolized to me.
Seattle represented Wholeness. It was the first time in a very long time that I had a feeling my Soul was breathing, that everything was okay. I would end up on the hill in the dream while in Seattle. I had the location wrong but I’d seen the location beforehand. Seattle was to be my last stop, so Wholeness would normally be the end of the journey but I needed the teaser beforehand because I was still so mired in Fear.
New York and New Jersey showed me why it is so special to share experiences not only with the Spirit but with others, all others, and even more so is it necessary to cherish the company of loved ones for you never know when someone comes in and out of life, whether it be due to circumstance or Death. Sometimes both, as Death does not only claim us at the end of the Flesh, but as events of life develop, very much a part of the ebb and flow of the Seasons of Life.
New Orleans was rebirth and here I would encounter the casino as I had seen it in my dream. I spent many a day by the Mississippi, reflecting as she meandered, her ability to change location from one state to another as she felt, inspirational, and also the area I really had to learn rebirth for my addiction to the ego’s agenda was quite strong. Rebirth an important theme, a reminder that each moment, each experience is brand new so respect it as that (I still struggle with this). It is also through rebirth that I was able to let the Sculptor that is the Soul clear away that which blocked the creation from within being expressed. Rebirth was/is necessary, because only in being reborn and allowing full expression of the change demanding recognition, stemming from within was I able to salvage the damage my psyche had experienced due to my own choice in limiting views and beliefs. The ego builds up a life of expectation to control, being strengthened each step of the way as the power the ego is empowered whether we live from Love or Fear because it’s goal is to craft its own agenda, and if our attention is focused on that controlling agenda we are blinded.
San Francisco was healing. I planted this seed. Whether it’s the “I” as in the I Am part of me or the I as in my conscious mind does not matter because I established it. And what did I learn? I had dreams and saw signs (both my ways of navigating the journey) everywhere which I can see now that I was always ready and that healing is a lifelong journey. Eventually the Soul leaves because it has worked on all it can in a lifetime, some Souls it’s sooner, others it’s later, either way, healing flows throughout.
Home… Hawaii. When I was 23, as can be seen by previous blogs, the excerpts from my book on here, I was called on a spiritual journey. I was told the Spirit of the Hawaiian Islands had a higher calling for me. A year ago, I told the Universe I would give up that which I loved most, which at the time was my idea of what would make me whole and the love of my life, in order to share what’s in my Heart with the world. I often minced words, thinking that it was about living my dream. No, it’s about realizing that this life is a like a dream and we have the ability in our waking state to have a lucid experience to enjoy it more fully. It just takes slowing down and paying attention. Not an overnight process as my journey since being called took eight years give or take some change and life is presented me with more experiences, more lessons. But I feel like I can make my way through anything because of this place…
Home. Home is everywhere because it is within. The Spirit of the Hawaiian Islands is symbolically Aloha, something just like Love, like God, is not quite describable but as an experience can be felt. Regardless of where I am physically in life, regardless of circumstance, I have learned how to get to my true home of the Spirit and to embrace this life, its twists, its turns, because the dream will surely end, much like dreams we have when we sleep, the dream will surely end when it does, suddenly, and that’s it.
Thank you Life. I needed that.