Last night, my life felt like it had purpose. I guess I always thought about it but as life has shown me it’s one thing to intellectually get something. It’s another thing to feel it. And yesterday I felt it.
I awoke with a sense that I felt whole. As though I had arrived. It’s been a crazy year. If you look back at all the writing that has poured out on this blog, when I read through the journals and everything else, alot went down. I consider it my year of research, the time to put together my “dissertation” on life up until this point. Like what lessons did I learn in the first 30 years that I wish could have been explained simply so as to have helped me navigate life better early on. I believe that. I believe it’s possible to travel through life in a smooth fashion. Life will have it’s pain. I’m not saying that at all. It also has much darkness. And that is nothing to fear. But I believe it possible to walk smoothly through it all, to be in the middle, to be okay through whatever the tide may bring.
So there I sat, enjoying the ride, still not knowing what’s next or how, still having thoughts come in that once scared me but I now accept and can nurture. Because that’s the thing, so many times in life, I thought, when I do this, then I’ll be okay, be free of the uncertainty of the unknown. I’m free here, I’m free now when I allow myself to be because that exists side-by-side with the shackles of limitation.
The reason it popped off, the purpose part came through for me, is because my night of Psychic adventure ended with two young ladies, who when adding their age (16 & 15) together totaled my age.
For some reason, I was taking my time in leaving. Granted my calf tear limits my mobility but last night was dreadfully slow. I had two readings all night after getting there early only to not start until an hour later because not so long, not so great story so I’ll leave it out. I was in the chair, I had put on my cap, closed my eyes, took a breath and heard a voice asking if she could still get a reading. They walked around to the other entrance and looked young so I asked the questioner her age: 16. I donate alot of readings to under 18 and all little kids for free so I told them that. I finished up, closed shop and we all sat down.
The two young ladies were from Texas, one of them by way of New Orleans, a place very near to my heart. It was really cool reading them both and I was impressed at how they got it. I’ve had to grapple with my ego throughout my life and in turn when I’m there to serve others as a Reader, can I identify when it’s a battle with someone else’s ego, and most older people it’s like that, but not the next generation… There they were, two young women who got it, got that life could be more. I can’t explain it, it’s something I felt and I could see in their eyes, the light sparking like the stars. I have great hope for the future and its these young ladies, it is their peers, their generation that will build beautiful structures, upon which other generations can build and go further and higher, all by simply living fully.
I don’t know what’s going to unfold in life. When do we ever really? We construct these sand castles that the Nature of life’s tide can erode in an instant… I have some feelings that I surmise will come true when they do. I know one thing is for certain, so long as I keep dancing to the beat beat of my Heart, that perfect drumming, I’ll be okay no matter what goes down.
Mahalo ke Akua. Much Praise, Much Love, Much Gratitude!