“Do you believe you have a gift from God?” ~ Daniel
Note: This is posted a few days after the initial draft. I was so excited I couldn’t pull it together and then got derailed by an unexpected event yesterday in LOL typical life fashion. So this is from Sunday…
Today was pretty magical. I’m pro magic. I mean I’m writing a story about a Mystic/Psychic Monkey, come on now, I must be. I woke up in typical Jason fashion, with a plan. That plan changed in typical life fashion so I went with it and rolled on to the Windward side, gazing at the beauty of the Koolau’s and kicking it with my Cousins’ and their kids. As I was driving, I looked around and was like: Damn! I live here!!!
I then heard: Expression is in every moment, every stroke of God’s paintbrush, life the ever-changing, always Flowing canvas…
Hearing messages don’t surprise me these days. I don’t always understand them but a year ago I was determined to listen closer. It’s been a blur. It’s been long. It’s been short. It’s been beautiful. It’s been messy. It’s life.
On May 26, 1980, I came into this world. On May 26, 2011, I wrote a treatment for a movie idea: The Ultimate Pitch to the Believe.
I got a little creative with it but the big thing was that I wrote: I knew you would come, yes you in the chair. I wrote that because I believed, I was certain someone from Hollywood was going to visit me at the Enchanted Banyan, where I serve people using my Intuitive and Psychic abilities. I thought it was going to be a few months ago but I digress. I also thought it would be Justin Bieber who was here around then but I digress further.
And you see, that’s the thing, I didn’t need to think. I just had to say What and the Universe delivers the How. The thing that gives it the juice is the Why. If you can understand the Why behind the What, it totally drives the How.
In July of last year, alot of things changed for me. I told a group of men I’d give up what I loved most in order to share what’s in my Heart with the world. And it all went buh-bye, see you later. I didn’t get it. Just like I didn’t get being told at a younger age I had a spiritual calling. I can’t say I get it all now, that’d be absurd.
Do I believe I have a gift from God? Yes. I do. I believe that all life is a gift because it’s magical if you take the time to breathe it in. As bad as things get and can be, there’s an infinite number of reasons to recapture the joy, the essence of being, that we once had as children. It’s okay to believe and dream. It’s okay to be loving, to choose to be happy.
I still don’t know what’s next but I believe I’ll play whatever role I choose to and have a say in the experience. I don’t know why, but as a kid, I always believed I had a message. I used to pray to be an instrument. Life’s funny. Almost too comical.
When I was in New Orleans, I met a man named Daniel, a cabbie. He said that we needed faith in order to walk through life, to overcome adversity in relationships. He was relating it to his marriage and that without faith, without trust in God, wouldn’t have been possible to stay together for years. Then out of the blue he told me that I could be the greatest preacher ever. I laughed. I still laugh. That’s not my goal. LOL. But what do preachers do but inspire hope, discuss and guide others in spirituality. While my aversion to certain words is a mental thing, my role has evolved into having a spiritual calling and sharing what I’ve found spiritually with others. Strange, eh?
Tonight, I sat there and another Daniel came by. He asked me the question quoted above. Here we go. I thought. I get so much sh!t about what I do particularly because I look young, I’m a man, I don’t have long grey hair, etc. But for some reason we talked. I tell him to come in and I’ll read him. I just knew I had to do it because he felt like he would be a teacher to me. (NOTE: everyone is teacher and student AND I value all the teachers life brings into my life) I’ve learned to trust it, that ole intuition.
I ask him his dreams and he had like five. Right there it felt like a match made in heaven because I had four main (Indiana Jones, Pro Wrestler, Pirate, and Help People) and a rotating host of others. I already knew he was in entertainment, I felt it. But of course when he said Actor, I felt my Heart race. What? Really.
In 2006, I told myself, I’m committed to living my dream, whatever that is. I was exiting the Diamond Head Film Studio after an interview to work on LOST. I was lost in my life. I had no gauge, I spun in circles, I did not feel the least bit whole. This blog more or less tells all the stories from then until now because a few months after that I started it. I don’t even know who or how many people read it unless there are comments. I just felt like it was important to write. At first for others because I believe we can relate and maybe my words would help someone else not feel alone and find something they could relate to. God knows words and music have helped me so much in my journey.
It’s been long and yet so short since then. But I just felt it nudging, my dream at that time was to be a Writer, but of movies, so screenwriter if prefer. I just loved the written word and the moving picture, how they married, how excellent a child they had together. I talked myself out of it after a bad experience in the film industry. I had to regroup. I was arrogant then. I knew the secret was to live from the Heart, to follow what you Love, but I needed to die a little, then a lot because I needed to realize that I was whole.
I changed dreams many times or rather I chased what I thought were viable ways of living. Great experiences but not lasting because they didn’t give my Inner Child his due. I enjoyed life but not fully. Only when being out there, learning to Flow, learning to be gentle with myself, allowing my Imagination to breathe, did I start to have fun again. And believe you me, I fight myself daily on that. Which I know makes no sense but I realized what it feels like when you’re burned, how it’s hard to go back into the fire. I’ve also learned that we never lose the resiliency of our child-like essence.
It’s been long. There’s still much more to go. But man. I got proof. Big proof, the proof I needed to realize there is purpose to my life. That what I’ve been given, is a gift from God. The gift is life man and it’s a pretty awesome experience. I get why I was told I had to experience certain things.
What makes this more close to my Heart, is that I’ve not signed a contract, I’ve not yet been paid, I’ve done none of that, but all of this is awesome. Every step. I manifested this, my whole life. I get closer every day to the end which will be when it is. Life is the dream. Reality can be the Dream if we allow.
Anytime I ever opened myself up to going down an unknown road, it’s given me so much, never what I thought, always exceedingly better. Every moment is a gift and God is always giving. As I look back, I can see it, see all the gifts, all the better scenarios afterwards, this is the first time I’ve felt it in such a deep way as it is happening.
Daniel is an Actor. He’s even been in two of favorite movies growing up: Seven and The Sandlot. He also has a production company. He is currently working on The River. River, oh River. Rivers and the Flow are powerful symbols in my nocturnal dreams. The River is in production at Diamond Head Film Studios, where I interviewed for LOST.
I don’t know what’s next. But then again, I never did. I’m pretty clever at piecing things together but I was always too quick to think I knew the ending. I’m entering an interesting chapter in my life. I’m excited! I’m going to leave it at that.
Daniel told me before he left that we have to be brave enough to follow our dreams and then added, to make them happen. I couldn’t agree more.
“Jason Walter. That’s a good name for a writer.” ~Daniel