My friend, Patrice, has this expression for people who can just roll through the BS of life: The Already There Club.
Last night was strange. I got an earful from a friend earlier who was dealing with some stuff. I was tired and it had nothing to do with her but she was challenged by my tone of voice because she was stressed out. That’s all good and well but it’s a perfect example of place your faith in the Spirit alone, be rooted in Faith because humanity will always let one down. It wasn’t my intent to exacerbate her situation but I have no control over the feelings or experience of another. I was just being true to myself in that conversation and my Heart did not want to take on the experience of another at that point and time because…
Friday was very draining albeit cool but very draining for me. I spent the morning in physical therapy for my torn calf muscle (which is healing up great, still sore and stiff but better each day!) and then went out to the North Shore to teach an actor on The River meditation, or so I thought…
It was my first time on the set of any type of production, Hollywood or otherwise. Someone told me when I first started reading professionally, you got it kid, start at the top. Well I was on the set for this ABC production which is pretty cool when one thinks about it and as close to the top as one can get in a sense since that world is so revered in this life. I went with the Flow as that is seemingly the best way to approach life these days. We didn’t get to go into meditation because of the nature of shooting but I met two gentlemen in the crew who I realized were probably a big part of the reason my journey led me there. Many of the people who discuss spiritual matters with me just need a little confirmation and my observation was that my brothers needed a little of that.
I guess I serve as the facilitator of the spirit in many cases and that’s cool. I don’t think I’m the shit but spirituality has been a big part of my life, is a specialty in many ways so I’m able to do some things or give people tools that touch that deeper space but what is crazy is I’m also very human, and that’s the hugest part of being on the spiritual journey. Patrice also told me she forgets that I’m human from time to time. I think what makes me so appropriate for a role in spiritual counsel and exploration is because I embrace the fullness of my humanity. It was a long road to that let me tell you. I despised being human and the amount that I could feel things. When I was younger I never knew where I began with my feelings, I could just feel what was going on with other people, and it scared, drained, pained me all at once and in different doses.
As I walk one more step in the journey each moment, I find more ways to recharge and reconnect with God in life all around. But for sure, I am human. I don’t regret any actions these days, I view them all as experiences, sometimes I feel pain because of my choices, and I shake my head because I’m on a path to make it smoother, not because I want to avoid conflict, but because I believe life will deliver pain on its own, therefore we should strive to enjoy and sail as smoothly as possible along the river of life.
That doesn’t mean my approach is easy to deal with. I admit that. I’m brutally honest and don’t have the time or energy to nurse egos. I have a hard enough time grappling with that small part of me, it’s hard when someone else enters the arena and I have to ‘wrassle’ both. So there I was, drained, pulling out mantras, releasing things that don’t serve me and in walks a 14 y/o young woman who asked me if I was an alien.
Laughter is key in the journey. I have a tendency to get too serious about things. So I find ways to laugh again. I’ve also been reading comic books and watching Pro Wrestling shoots from time to time because it lets my Inner Child have fun. Laughter and fun man.
The night and day only went up from there. I had one gentlemen come in who needed the meditation tool. The reading was good for him but it was the meditation, I saw it when a smile broke across his face as he let go of all his worries and just breathed and smiled.
BREATHE AND SMILE…
Breathing and smiling is huge. At 23, the day before I was give my spiritual calling, I stumbled across Peace is Every Step, by Thich Nhat Hahn. The concept was so right on. I didn’t realize it at the time but it spoke to my Soul, which is why it resonated so truly, madly, deeply with me. To be able to breathe and smile though life has beaten us in the past and will assuredly give us new challenges is the choice we have in each and every moment.
The young man thanked me and said it’s cool to meet someone who’s already there or who is on the way on the spiritual journey. That made me breathe and smile within. I don’t do what I do for recognition. I do it because I believe that the world can be better and it starts within us. More and more I see how what I’ve been through, this gift which I viewed as a curse for so long to fully empathize and feel what is going on in another, and the experiences I have had that have allowed me to accept pain and move through challenges is truly valuable.
I don’t like to say things like I’m already there because in honesty as long as I’m in the body I’m not. But when I choose, I can always find my way Home within and can find beauty in each “season” unfolding in my life, sometimes at rapid rates throughout the day. For that, I’m truly grateful. It’s necessary because as a human, though others can help, I cannot put my strength on another because the strength we all seek, that love is within.
It’s that part of us that is unconditional and the part that heals all things in our life no matter what the day brings because NO ONE can ever take that away, that Sacred part of who we are is always there if we choose to look at it.