Adventures in Urban Mysticsim: I’m On One…

“I walk around the club, (radio edit) everybody…” Lil Wayne verse on DJ Khaled’s “I’m on One”

We’re all One.  It’s an interesting concept.  Maybe one day, in my 40’s or 50’s, should my journey carry me to there, I’ll be able to explain that in a way that resonates universally.  Maybe that’s not my role.  I don’t know man.  What do any of us really know?

I quoted the above because I grew up in a world bombarded by visual, aural, viral, everything pornographic you can think of. So the (radio edit) doesn’t have the same meaning to me as it might from someone in a different generation.  I swear.  I have tattoos.  Not because I think it’s cool, but it’s something that is a part of the world I grew up with.  I do my best not to swear excessively but sometimes it just pops out for emphasis and Adya and I got into it one day about it.  Note: Adya swears and has done everything out there in the book, some of it eyebrow raising so I don’t feel bad for swearing in front of a 72 year old.

I used (radio edit) after spiritual and that struck a chord with her.  My intent was different.  I know intent and interpretation are two different things but I’m in this state of focusing on authenticity and brutal compassion/honesty.  The world hasn’t listened to all sunshine and rainbows.  Life is all things, at all times, Light and Dark.  And there’s nothing problematic about that.  It’s all a part of the giant intricate system that is beyond any of us and we’re all here to experience and get to know on our spiritual journeys.

Which reminds me of something my brother once told me: Jas, you can listen to everyone, respect what they have to say, but at the end of the day, I’m my own man.  He was telling me about an experience he had had with our Dad and how he started to go out and really carve out his own way of operating despite what our Dad said.  I can’t comment too deeply because their relationship is different than my dynamic with our Dad and my dynamic with him is different as well.  So I will not discuss that nor criticize it.  But it’s interesting because I can apply that same principle to many of different teachers I have experienced.  Including myself, I’ve blinded myself with an unrealistic love that does not fit the body fully.  It fits the spiritual, I totally believe that.  I totally believe it is ALL Love, and ALL one, but the experience of Love in its many forms, the full appreciation of it only comes through the range of humanity that we travel through thousands of lives and millions of experiences of the Soul in the Flesh.

I had a dream recently that my brother told me he hated me.  It tripped me out.  I didn’t make him the object, like if he really hates me in waking life, but on some level, in my psyche, there is a part of me that hates me.  And I’m okay with that.  It’s there for a reason and if the full range of human existence includes hate and self-loathing, it is my opinion, one has to be open to the possibility of that feeling arising.  And it’s a feeling for a reason, otherwise it wouldn’t be there. Only in allowing and accepting the possibility that a feeling is present can we move into a different feeling that may serve us better in a situation.

Maybe because I’ve not popped into Buddhahood, become Eckhart Tolle, or ascended like Christ, I’m open to the probability that the derailing emotions will come back around.  I stress the okay factor because hate, rage, anger are all just words to describe an energy, a feeling.  We walk in and out of energies all day.  As a result, we’re subject to it all.  What we do with it, is what we do with it.  And that’s okay too.

That being said, don’t go and bust some caps in people just because.  I don’t believe in that.  While it’s an experience, that’s not healthy.  I won’t go into the whole right vs. wrong debate because none of us alive really know what that means for others or what God will do.  But I will advocate making decisions based upon whether they are healthy or not.  And if you err on the side of a healthy choice, I think that’s loving you and honestly loving to others.  And I believe God is pro-that.  And so I say:

I walk around the club, Love everybody.  Or (radio edit) everybody.  What’s healthy for me might not be healthy or the experience needed for another.


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