Embrace Your Inner Psychic: Who, What, Where, Why, When?

So I small kine slacked off on this column…  What’s that movie, Clueless, I think: Oops, my bad!

Well, this here blog will not be in depth about a topic but rather I’m going to do my best to give you an example of how to Embrace Your Inner Psychic and work with your Psychic abilities. So let’s get to it!


YOU!  We are all Intuitive and being Psychic isn’t much different than that (in fact, I’m pretty sure it’s the same but a different word for a something some such or another).

There are some people who are more naturally inclined to use this aspect of their being, others are just more interested in the numinous and mystical, and others still who just trust their gut and leave it at that without an explanation.  There’s different kinds of people because what fun would the recipe be if it were just one type of way were all the same.

My Journey led me into this kind of ‘stuff’ and believe you me, I fought the whole thing every step of the way.  Only recently am I opening up, like the last few years.  It’s also just a different type of work that I enjoy, and I’ve had a diverse background and enjoy many things.  I was always seeking and this area of study and work has helped to fill in some blanks and mainly start to approach the question of…

JMAW say what?

Exactly! What’s really going on in the Spiritual Journey.

What’s the deal’yo?  I was always interested in understanding my place here and why seemingly ‘magical’ things would happen and then to find the correlation to their regularity or irregularity, dare I say their synchronicity.

As a result, I often found myself somewhere between the Eastern Philosophy and New Age sections of libraries and Borders (rest in peace).  I would Google: Spirituality, Spiritual Journey, Vision Quest, and stuff along those lines because no one I knew really had the answer and it was so easy to go for the quick and easy answer.  I find that in some of the students I’ve picked up, they want the fast and short version and to know it all now.  LOL, I laugh at myself because I have been there too.

While I am a believer that the books that are ‘meant’ to find us will, I’m more influenced these days by watching life and getting into the stories that I’m watching at play around me, identifying the stories that I’m involved with myself, and the ‘shows’ are being scripted as we speak. The grandest story is your own and as it unfolds, as you watch it, it can be so exciting and at the very least, fascinating.

Most of us when we get into anything, look for videos, books, and so on or some one to talk to, take a class, do a little some some lidat or approach it in that fashion.  I think that’s an important part of answering the what and it’s cool because in this day and age, we can learn about just being and spirituality online.

But life is not meant to be lived online.  I consider the web a tool for communication and to learn but getting out there, mingling, mixing it up, and watching with a playful Spirit is really…

Where?  Where, you find your Inner Psychic!

And start to enjoy life wherever you are.  Which really, isn’t that what we all want?  Fulfillment?  Enjoyment of our circumstances?

I’ve had so many experiences (see Adventures in Urban Mysticism) where the old Intuition fires up or I do a Psychic Reading in Honolulu that helped me to understand how this sense works for me.  And in turn, I’ve been able to guide others, which is pretty bomb IMO, but also I get a sense as to…

Why I’m here?

And in looking at that really listening to life, and working on understanding what works for me, it helps me to release and allow the differences without judgment (which I’m still working on more each day) because the questions and answers are vastly different for all of us depending on our lessons.

I think tuning within and being clear with what we experienced as children that really inspired us is an important starting point.  A big part of who I am is adventure and service and I feel that’s because I wanted to be Indiana Jones, a Pirate, and a Pro Wrestler.  Then I just wanted to help the world.  So Adventure (first three) and Service (last thing) have helped me to understand why I’m here and what makes me happy.

I used to approach it logically.  But logic only gets us so far.  Logic cannot checkmate the Heart and the more we shut off to living from a place that vibes within, the more our lives are in chaos.

But every single moment, of every single day, in every single life, we have a choice to make a change, to take that one breath, be stoked for the base of being alive and from there taking a step towards what’s fulfilling.  However that is for each of us to figure out in some ways, because what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another.  And again, that’d be pretty boring if it was all the same.

So if it seems vague how I’m explaining, that’s by design, my goal is for one to think what enlivens oneself because that’s how to build and know the Intuition.  I speculate our Intuitive Self is one with the Heart and I totally believe the Heart never lies.


I know this Pisces young man who’s swimming in both directions.  One day he’s “enlightened” and gets it.  The next he hates it all and can’t understand.  It’s a Journey…

Does it end?  It never does.  The rabbit hole just goes further and further.  It’s pretty Matrix seeming.  Not like jumping over buildings kine but in a sense that the world looks different to me everyday the more and more I stick with this Intuitive stuff.

It’s better that way for me these days.

I always hokey-pokey’d my Spiritual Journey, and I like having an online blog here that allows me to reflect and see where I was and to laugh at how many times I think I got it all, especially in trying to explain it.  [Silly, silly, Jason.]

Because really, how can we explain a thing with certainty?  We can’t because life is continuing to evolve and God, Love, and everything to do with Life have an ever-expanding scope until it can be explained with certainty but we’re all still learning who we are, so we’ll leave it at that.

And perhaps the only way to really answer all the questions is when we leave the body.  And that will happen with certainty so why not live fully and take as much in as possible until then?

I’m just sayin’…


Adventures in Urban Mysticism: Christmas, Just Another Day, : )

So I had to work on Christmas Eve.  It was dead.  A wash.  I get off, go to the car after eating some late night breakfast and find out that the battery is dead.  I could only laugh.  I took a breath, heard the chatter start to dial up in my brain, acknowledged that this wasn’t the most pleasant way to spend a Christmas Eve but laughed again and that chatter of ‘woe is me’ die down.

I went downstairs in the parking structure, caught a homie just getting off work for the structure and he said he’d come up.  He told me: ‘that’s the second time someone caught me right when I was leaving.’  I was stoked.  Got jumped.  Drove home.

So I also worked on Christmas.  They said they couldn’t close but somehow it was okay to not come in for the day shift but I had to work the night.  Instead of three wise men, I got visited by haunted spirits.  That’s okay, that’s why I’m there, and it’s been happening in such regularity, I try my best to learn from it because it does not scare me, it’s a part of life, and I must be strong enough and clear enough these days to face it.

Another haunted Soul would later tell me: ‘You’re an Empath.  They say good healers are there to listen and talk to others.’

Well, I did what I had to, got off, got bumrushed by Doomsday and his predictions of hellfire and brimstone.  I’m half motivated to publish and be out there just to shut him up. That’s very much a part of the smug human part of me.  Another human part of me feels compassion for someone so tortured by the Universe he lives in, a Dark, haunted reality of Evil and that’s all there is. The Spirit part of me allows me to see the value in both sides and accept they make up who I am.

‘Remember you’re human. You can change people’s lives. People listen to you.  I do and it’s f@cking w/me.’

After listening for far too long, I left.  I had to.  I agree to disagree and I was okay with that.  I’m okay with my life.  Was it awesome to be walking home at midnight on Christmas after getting bumrushed by Mr. Doom’n’Gloom.  Not really.  But that’s honest and I’m okay with that.

I got scared because of the dim lighting so I went a huge way out of my way and ended up where I would have walked had I not been scared.  I laughed.  Choose love over fear getting deeply engrained in me because either way, you arrive where you’re at, one is just easier.  I finally took a cab home and went to sleep.

The next day, I reconnected with my homie, ‘Ice Cold,’ who just proposed to his now Fiancee.  Had my car not died, I wouldn’t have had to go through the phone tree and get to him and get the jump I needed.  He told me: ‘I’m glad you called, even if it was under bad circumstances. Call me if you ever need help.’

I smiled.  I had made a list of what I was grateful for and I wrote family and true friends as one of them the night before.  ‘Ice Cold’ was there for me during the ending of my relationship and after, during what was my Ego’s Apocalypse, worst things happening all at once.  He saw me change and be reborn.  It was cool to see the gift God gave me in that relationship right there.  And I was stoked that he was getting engaged.  I was happy for him!!!

I went down to Sears and the clerk there saw a key-chain hanging from the steering column of the X-Man, Rogue.  She got excited and asked me where I got it.  First words out of my mouth, not answering her question: ‘You want it?’

She didn’t want to accept it at first but I told her she could have it.  I didn’t know why but it felt right.  She got really happy and told me she had a bad Christmas.  And I realized, rather I put it together, that’s why the battery went down the way it did.  So that I could be there in that moment to pick someone up who’d had a rough time during the Holidays. I laughed and said: ‘I’m glad my battery died, because now I get to give you that.’  She laughed and looked really happy.

Christmas, like Valentine’s Day are special, but so is every other day.  And at any time, we can find the Joy in life.  Why not?  It feels better than the other stuff and things just happen beyond our control.

I may not have had a holiday on Christmas but I was there for people who needed it and that’s worth something to me.

A Time to Fly: Embrace the Love

There’s some truly Dark levels of experience out there.  In no way do I doubt that.  But I address that we don’t need to linger in there or feel powerless because of it.  The Ego will trap and hold us down not because it wants to, but because the certainty of Fear and the addiction of beating ourselves up is comforting in that it is known, it is so familiar, it’s easier to allow Dark than it is to shine Light.

Love may be our birthright, but our world is set up in a way to refute it at every turn.  That’s why fighting to see the Light aspects of life and not to the let darkened lens forever dim our outlook is so important.

Life is uncertain but that does not meant that we have to hate it.

It does not mean that we must hate ourselves.

Our Souls are on a Journey and in going through the Journey, we learn more and more about who we really are.  I truly believe incorporating a spiritual view, in however it works for each of us, can help to transcend the damages live brings to the psyche.  In the beginning, that damage comes from our own willingness to love and the inability to understand the situations where we are abused.  This often roots deep in childhood and it takes lifetimes of the Soul to move beyond because after awhile, we end up accepting the abuse, the limiting beliefs that get engrained within us as our reality.  We continue to perpetuate ‘crimes’ against ourselves and the Ego’s hold becomes so strong, it finds more and more ways to tell the story of Victimhood.

I know young man, who was a client, who is convinced the world will lead to famine, despair, and war.  He nicknamed himself, Doomsday, he tells me over and over he comes from Dark, and the Light doesn’t know, and that I’ve forgotten.  He’s so locked into his story he can’t see anything but what he believes.  He’s a strong force and though he told me that I make him question some of his thoughts, his energy makes me question. And while I question, I cannot, I will not accept his accounts as reality, because his reality is not mine.  His issues are not mine.  I need not be swayed and doubt all the Love I see everywhere because someone else does not allow it.

Because that’s not Faith.

Faith is without question.  On one level are there some really atrocious things out there.  Yes.  But can we really agree on what is good and bad.  No.  Not at all because we all have vastly different views.  This young man tells me I have a “Universe is Perfect Theory.”  I don’t think in terms or perfection, I think in terms of balance and when I say things are okay, they work out, it’s because I don’t fight it so much these days.  I can only change how I feel, I cannot change another, nor can I change the events that are unfolding that are beyond my control.

We cannot prove or disprove that what happened is meant to be or supposed to.  It’s just what is.  If we spend our time and energy hating on God or a Creator or not seeing a need for Love by looking at all the negative then what the heck are we in life for it?  Even our science has shown us both sides, that we will destroy should we continue to do so and that the world is replenishing itself despite our advances to kill it.  The world, Nature, is naturally balancing, returning to a state of well-being, it’s healing despite what we do…

There’s a whole lot of hate out there.  The hippies were on to something but then their extreme didn’t add up.  I think my life has shown me different things so that I could see how important it is to be able to mediate for my own life, look at it from both sides and come to a firm place in what I belief.  Not because it’s better than anything else, but because when each of us can arrive to the middle, then we can be clear and see life as truly intricate, beyond words, and amazing as it is.

We will argue until we die and then those who come will argue even more.  We have evidence of that.  We need not curse it.  It’s all a part of the experience.  The propaganda of the the End of World has been thrown around since the dawn of time.  Sooner or later we could make that happen.  Or maybe we won’t.  For many, that already is present.  Or it happened already.

Whatever the End of the World is for each of us, it’s definitely an experience but like any great movie, you can’t predict the end or know the story until you’ve seen it all  And if sh!t hits the fan, then we have to pick up the pieces, we can’t spend our lives waiting for that, preparing for it.  I don’t care what anyone says about stocking up on canned goods, because if the end of the world as per these predictions happen, none of us will be prepared because the change that takes place will hurt us deeper than some canned goods will allow.  The hurt that will be realized is that we caused it collectively.  And that to me, that’s why I push even more to share with others that we can live healthier.

We may still be able to ‘save this world.’ I believe in that.

We may not be be able to ‘save the world’ from going on a path of destruction.  I am aware of that.

But whatever happens, it happens, so why question, what’s not yet arrived.  We cannot continue to fight life.  We don’t have to fight it.  If anything, fight for your smile, fight for your Heart to not be consumed by the Fear, the Hate, the Misery that the individual and our collective Ego is so addicted to because it is known.

We have the ability to have amazing lives regardless of our circumstance.  We need only listen, we need only let go.  We must allow.

This young man, he tells me he sees me in the future, mad about things and on some council as we rebuild.

If anything, I’m mad now.  I’m mad that we as a people forget so quickly.  That as much evidence as we have to create good things, we buy into the bullsh!t that the Fearmongers sell.  If we live our lives on the what-if’s then it’s a hollow life, an empty life, a life that will be lost all to quickly, and if we each look at our individual lives honestly, we can see how those losses piled up, not because the system is against us, but because of our own addiction to misery and being averse to the fact that Pain, that Dark, is just a part of life and it is necessary.

I might never change the world and that’s okay.

But I’m going to change myself as much as I can, I’m going to find a way to find the Love in every experience.  The young man tells me I need a reason.  I know my reason, it’s always been family.  It’s always been about healing.  I don’t need any other reason as there’s too much to process it’s just overwhelming.  But to simplify I can step back, remind myself, I’m on a Journey and to find the Love, because I promise, I guarantee, as the story unfolds, we can find it if we allow it.

So embrace what’s ours.  The only person that can do that for you is you so stop beating yourself up.  There’s no point to it.  Dark only has power if we believe it does.


Adventures in Urban Mysticism: The Grand Finale

There’s a dance we’re a part of.  And everything builds up you know?  There’s a crescendo, there’s a moment of excitement, anticipation, the edge of your seat oh my WOW goodness that is the stuff the stories we see in books and movies that inspire us the most are made of. And those moments enliven us, move us, because it speaks to our own core.

I met a Welsh Gent the other night, a former Catholic priest, who was a good man, a great Heart, battling his demons.  And he needed to talk.

But first, let’s bust a JMAW and rewind…

My Journey is mine and I see why, as best as I can at this moment in time, why that is.  We grow up in a world that is severely disconnected from what it means to be spiritual and human.  In order to be truly of Spirit, we must accept and relish in the Flesh.  There are reasons we have the ‘trials’ and the challenges we do because we are following the invisible thread of the Spirit.  Only in learning to watch and see that what is coming to us is what’s really going on within, do we really reach a place where we can see clearly.

I was visited recently by what I can only describe as the Devil.  At first it was three incarnations spread out in spaces months ago, then it was three times in about as many days, then it was three times in mixed form in the same night (last night).  Now, I realize, that the Devil just needs a hug, is a bit confused and wants to resist what God designs, because that part of us is really hurting.  And if God is Love, which I truly believe, what is designed is not bad.  It might not make sense but you know, we are meant to fly and Love is what allows us to do that.  The Devil just wants to have it a specific way and that’s not how Love works.  We can’t limit it.

I always wanted to fly, to know Love, to feel my connection with God.  I’ve been on an intense spiritual walk and it’s taught me so much, so much that I’d never do it differently.  And it’s shown me who I am, what that means, to understand why that is important.

As I sat there with the former priest, we talked and I felt his pain, I saw it clearly because I know my own.  The only thing that’s carried me through it has been faith and in allowing myself to feel a connection to the Divine.  When we open up, without a doubt we will feel it.  But something within, wants to fight, wants to control when it’s that part which causes the suffering.  As the ‘Devil’ came at me through ones we controlled then through those who were struggling, I could only see that I no longer needed that because I know what I want.  It’s clear.

As I listened to this man, pour out his Heart, open up his Soul, the time passed and I sat with him.  I gave him a space to be heard and to remind him that what he sought was out there.  And it’s in that, that seeking, that I myself sought, that I found in so many ways, through so many others, myself and realized I needn’t have any obstacles.  Life has enough of its challenges, it didn’t need me adding to it.  In essence that what I was reacting to in my life, was what I was creating in my world.

It was time to go so we said goodbye and I said: ‘nice talking to you.’

He said: “I did all the talking.  Thanks for listening to me, that really made my day.’

I smiled, parted ways and in that moment realized on a deeper level something else I wanted to do in my life.  There’s people all over hurting who have a deeper connection and need confirmation of that.  When I was but a child, I dreamed of traveling the world to learn and I always wanted to help others but I never knew how to do that and well, the only way I can do that is by being who I am.  In that space, as I look back at what God gave me as I fought kicking and screaming along my Path, was millions of ways to see what I love most is being with others and opening up spiritually.  And ain’t nothing wrong with that.  It’s good work. I’ve been called a ‘tuning fork’ recently by a friend.

“You know how much money people pay Psychiatrists for what we do?” Adya would say to me.

Well, I’m ready for the Grand Finale.  The Magical Ending, the type you’d see in movies.  Not for anyone else to believe but for me because it’s what will help me do my work and well who’s life is it anyway.  Doesn’t it come down to what I believe?  And I do believe.

As I walked away from the man, I heard the Spirit say to go back and tell him something.  I walked over and just opened my mouth and the words poured out: “Sometimes you just need confirmation.” I put my hand on his shoulder and walked away.

The Spirit spoke through others to me in so many ways in my own Journey Home and now I’ve learned to allow it to speak through me.  I’m living my dream.  It’s pretty cool.

Mahalo ke Akua.

Hallelujah Adonai!  Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Adventures in Urban Mysticism: The Inner Devil

If we, in our holistic being, are made of up different types of energy, that correspond with different levels of consciousness, then as much as we have our Inner Spirit/Christ Consciousness, we have our Inner Devil/Fear Consciousness.  I’ve referenced the Inner Characters of the Community within us before: The Inner Douche, The Inner Mystic, The Inner Skeptic, The Inner Diva, to go along with the Inner Child, that which is the most magical part of us.

I’ve commented recently that life seems less black and white, seems much more grey.  Well, I think that those shades of grey are the different vibes of consciousness that we can sit in.  At both extremes sit Love and Fear.  And the closer to the middle you get, there’s Gratitude and Hate.  And the Middle, well, that is where it gets really grey. So grey, it’s quite clear actually.

“You doing all this psychic work, there really are different dimensions, you know?” Adya would say to me, many, many times and while I’ve had my experience of ‘Darker’ entities rolling in I have had my doubts about this being much, much bigger than I.

Being in the body is a challenge.  We have life, we have others, we have [dare I say] responsibilities and well, it can be tough.  My Journey has taken me all over the levels of consciousness.  I’ve had some Dark times, been a pretty Dark guy.  I’ve also been the extreme opposite.  And I’ve always felt the beauty was to sit in the Middle, see it all with a little smile and to keep walking.

I always wanted to feel that there was something taking care of it all because there’s a peace in that I’d only touched until recent times.

The Inner Devil has shown up in three different mirrors recently, and recently that the consciousness chased me all over.  I have no doubts that there is something bigger.  I cannot prove it to anyone else but I believe it myself.  And that’s what I wanted in the first place.

And it was hard to get here.  The Devil is tricky and that consciousness delights in throwing us off, in tricking us.  There’s a reason that there are stories of the Trickster in many tales, every tradition.  I’ve had so many experiences of the Spirit, both sides speaking to me through many people. I felt like a Free Agent at times, seeing the duality clearly on each side of me.

It’s no longer scary.  My most recent experience with the Devil was the best, best in that I finally understood why I was drawing that in my space.  He admitted to me, as I asked him about his power, that he had none.  The Devil Consciousness itself, said it had no power, other than the power we gave it.  Fear has no power over us unless we give it power. There is great Truth in that.

As I had my conversation with the Devil, the third time in about as many days.  I realized that he just wanted to be heard.  The first time he showed up, it was as an extremely fearful being.  He came in that form three times, each time when I was helping people.  Then the Consciousness left me alone for awhile [nine months].  And then the Devil came first as a beautiful woman with a tale of helplessness and trying to dangle sexuality. In that incarnation, her Fear made her unaware as such though I feel in the end she’ll find her way, as she would later tell me she had money and knew it would all work out.

“Beware the trickster, Dear-uh.” ~Adya would say.  “There’s a reason he’s showing up now in different beings.  You are on your Journey to knowing who you really are…”

The second time he came at me as a man, an intense and angry man and I felt the protection, my crown ‘light’ up so that I was not caught unaware.  He was arrogant and I just sat there and listened.  At the end of it, I told him I was glad I could help.  He got up, left and on the way out:

“You sure you don’t want to talk to me, I have a movie Producer friend who could help you get a million dollars.”  That tripped me out because I had written that so long ago.  I realized that’s not how God works.  It’s not we tell God what we’ll do if he gives us.  God tells us what to do, we do it, then we walk and he gives. I felt so weak at so many times and I see why that mirror came along.

I got up to ask why he kept showing up and it was like he disappeared.  This is my life, it’s my experience and I’m telling you this man disappeared.  Two people would confirm seeing him with me but not seeing him leave or where he went.

I thought it was through.  I thought that was it and I realized there would be one more visit.  And I saw him immediately.  My gut knew exactly but in this incarnation he was ever so subtle.

‘You have a Light about you but there’s a little grey.’

I told him the Devil had showed up in my space the night before.

‘No, Satan himself! Oh man, look at that (he showed me chicken skin), you can’t fake that. I remember the first time he showed up, those black eyes, that look, you can’t fake that…’

And he leaned into me and I felt the energy flow through my crown to protect me and again I knew.  In this being, he played it very well.  I respected that, I respect the wisdom, the dance, I will never serve it but in order to understand life, I believe it important to respect those who know more than you and from his mouth:

‘The Devil is very old.  He knows a great deal.’

This incarnation, I realized showed me the pain that the Devil really has.  You see, the Devil wants nothing more than to Love but the Devil questions, the Devil doubts, when the Journey is about acceptance.  The Devil is a Master in his own right but even the Devil was created by God, by Love, and therefore that which is the Creator, the Hand that writes it all is the only level of consciousness that really knows what’s up.

I’m still processing.  I’m still writing the closing element of this first part of my Journey.  But I know where I stand.  I stand in the Light, as a Beloved Child, One with God.  And that’s where I always wanted to be.  I have no doubts about that.  Though in my humanity I may stumble, I may question, I have found my way back home and I know it will never turn me away. And I suppose, that’s what A Call to Love is really about.  It’s that we’re being called home and we each have a path there so long as we trust and walk it.  In so doing, one can be set free.

This last incarnation wrote a name, a number, a false book title, and weaved in tales of my own journey, trying to confuse me.  On the back of the paper he gave me, he wrote one word: Sin.

You see, the Devil can mask, the Devil can mince words, but the Devil wants to be known so I don’t think the Devil lies, we’ve got it wrong there, the Devil wants to be heard so if you ask It, it will tell you exactly what it is, how it has no power, and why it wants you.

The Devil tricks because the Devil wants recognition and cannot help but reveal himself, no matter how good the act is, he just wants the Light but he refuses to walk the Path and accept how it is written.

I took the paper and released it into the ocean.  I could feel it’s power and I felt tempted to call him. He told me he wanted my Light, that I had given him power, and he wanted me to join his group.

‘I’ve been looking for my Spirit Helper for a long time.  Things that comes from this conversation will impact others and it can change things.’

I had to have the conversations with the Devil to see my own reflections and to hear them because the reason the Devil, Fear and that level of consciousness gets the best of us, is because we don’t let it be heard, whenever we deny a part of the experience, it manifests as an extreme.  And that’s all it wants, is to be heard. Another reason why he couldn’t help but advertise who he really was. It’s easy to see why people fall prey, because the Devil wants what was lost.

‘Steven Spielberg, J.K. Rowling, they never lost their Inner Child.  I only like the first Harry Potter, the rest, bah.’

And it’s that consciousness, that part that just wants Love.  They say that Hell is to be in a place where there is no God and I have come to believe as the Hawaiians say, Aloha ke Akua.  God is Love.  The Devil in this last incarnation was very likable.  And I could see how even though he doubted God, Love still showed up in many ways to care for him.  He had chosen to turn off the Light.

‘The Bible, the kids these days are calling it the Basic Instructions Before Leave Earth.  It’s good.  But I like Star Wars.  The Force.  And your Light, ohhhhhh.’

Well, I’ve listened, and I have no more time for it.  Thank you to all my recent teachers. When Adya told me I was ready for another teacher, I had no idea what she meant and where she spoke from when that came to me.

I never in a million years thought I’d experience what I have in my life and over the course of this spiritual journey but I am happy.  There’s a grand adventure awaiting you if you allow it. Walk your path.  I guarantee what you find will only bring you Joy.

Praise. Love. Gratitude.

Many Blessings

I’ve been gifted a great deal of blessings this year and it slapped me upside the head last night as I sat out and looked at the moon and reminded myself that I’m always full, it’s just perspective.  A year and a half ago, my life was arguably in shambles (I see now how great a gift it really was), but that was hard at the time.  As much as anyone can say, move on, let go, each one of us must walk through our healing in our own way and I had alot of healing to undertake.

As I sat there and counted my blessings, I thought how a year ago, I had no job, no place to call my own, no car, mixed feelings about myself, life, and the only thing that kept me going was the Invisible Voice I heard from time to time, whose Sacred presence I felt when I allowed myself to.  And there I was last night with the realization of how everything was totally provided for in my life, not just like I can see it but really felt it and saw how everything worked out in the last year in its own way, which didn’t match what my Egoic agenda wanted but was far better than I could have imagined.

Today, I have my own place, a cozy studio which makes recording videos fun because I can laugh about how Hip-Hoppers talk about being in the studio, and there I am in a studio, literally.  I have a car that I didn’t ask for that was given to me and is a cool addition to my life to get from point A to point B, and I have completely redefined my working situations, which are growing more and more profitable by the day. To be doing something that I don’t want to die doing is very valuable to me, let me tell ya…

And how can life not be good when I make a living helping people with Inner Work and the Soul’s experience? And, I get to do writing in various forms? Exactly, it’s awesome in abundance!

Thank you God for not giving up on me!  And thank you me for not giving up on me…

So many times, I’ve wanted to quit man.  I think I may have said that once or twice (or choke times, lol) before but something inside of me keeps pushing on, has burned to be free ever since forever since, and I’m glad I finally submitted to it, at times begrudgingly, which is why the nudges became slaps and brought me to my knees time and time again.  I stress that part of it because it’s easier now but it’s been work.  And I like to share all aspects of the Journey thus far because I know how much I learned from others at various stages of their own healing Journeys. I might be in a place where I’m not struggling as much but I realize it’s hard and if I can keep moving, learn to believe in myself, I think anyone can because I lived in a deep, dark hole for a long time, even worse, I helped to dig that mofo.  And from allowing life to to have it’s natural flow and guide me out of it, it’s pretty nice being above ground and feeling alive regardless of what’s transpiring around me.

Thank you to all the people from around the world that have graced me with their presence this past year and allowed me to be a Messenger of the Spirit.  To any and all who have come into my life, departed, and will weave in and out of this shared experience, you’ve all played such important parts in my story and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Aloha ke Akua (God is Love)!

Finding God in Pizza…


The night after “I’m not an A$$**** McGee, the band kid with an attitude, rolled in, a young woman with some swagger came in with some friends and on the sly one of the friends was shooting a video.  It’s not the first time that I’ve been video’d or recorded during a reading but I figured, if there’s a chance that I’ll be on YouTube someday, I’m going to record it myself.

And well, it’s odd.  It’s like one big laugh at myself.  And I got to find some beauty in that.  I used to be intensely serious 24/7 and not so much these days.  There’s a dash of seriousness but I’m getting the playfulness of life down a little bit more each day.  There’s so much beyond our control.  We only have what we’ve been through and where we are currently to gauge what is to come, so even more so is being present, living Now, important.  The future, as much as maybe we can tune into it, is not yet written and life, each one of our lives is like a movie being watched for the first time.  There’s some awesomeness to that IMO.

With that, we’ve got Finding God in Pizza and whatever else F(ol)lows.  Much love to you all!