I’ve been gifted a great deal of blessings this year and it slapped me upside the head last night as I sat out and looked at the moon and reminded myself that I’m always full, it’s just perspective. A year and a half ago, my life was arguably in shambles (I see now how great a gift it really was), but that was hard at the time. As much as anyone can say, move on, let go, each one of us must walk through our healing in our own way and I had alot of healing to undertake.
As I sat there and counted my blessings, I thought how a year ago, I had no job, no place to call my own, no car, mixed feelings about myself, life, and the only thing that kept me going was the Invisible Voice I heard from time to time, whose Sacred presence I felt when I allowed myself to. And there I was last night with the realization of how everything was totally provided for in my life, not just like I can see it but really felt it and saw how everything worked out in the last year in its own way, which didn’t match what my Egoic agenda wanted but was far better than I could have imagined.
Today, I have my own place, a cozy studio which makes recording videos fun because I can laugh about how Hip-Hoppers talk about being in the studio, and there I am in a studio, literally. I have a car that I didn’t ask for that was given to me and is a cool addition to my life to get from point A to point B, and I have completely redefined my working situations, which are growing more and more profitable by the day. To be doing something that I don’t want to die doing is very valuable to me, let me tell ya…
And how can life not be good when I make a living helping people with Inner Work and the Soul’s experience? And, I get to do writing in various forms? Exactly, it’s awesome in abundance!
Thank you God for not giving up on me! And thank you me for not giving up on me…
So many times, I’ve wanted to quit man. I think I may have said that once or twice (or choke times, lol) before but something inside of me keeps pushing on, has burned to be free ever since forever since, and I’m glad I finally submitted to it, at times begrudgingly, which is why the nudges became slaps and brought me to my knees time and time again. I stress that part of it because it’s easier now but it’s been work. And I like to share all aspects of the Journey thus far because I know how much I learned from others at various stages of their own healing Journeys. I might be in a place where I’m not struggling as much but I realize it’s hard and if I can keep moving, learn to believe in myself, I think anyone can because I lived in a deep, dark hole for a long time, even worse, I helped to dig that mofo. And from allowing life to to have it’s natural flow and guide me out of it, it’s pretty nice being above ground and feeling alive regardless of what’s transpiring around me.
Thank you to all the people from around the world that have graced me with their presence this past year and allowed me to be a Messenger of the Spirit. To any and all who have come into my life, departed, and will weave in and out of this shared experience, you’ve all played such important parts in my story and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Aloha ke Akua (God is Love)!