Adventures in Urban Mysticism: The Inner Devil

If we, in our holistic being, are made of up different types of energy, that correspond with different levels of consciousness, then as much as we have our Inner Spirit/Christ Consciousness, we have our Inner Devil/Fear Consciousness.  I’ve referenced the Inner Characters of the Community within us before: The Inner Douche, The Inner Mystic, The Inner Skeptic, The Inner Diva, to go along with the Inner Child, that which is the most magical part of us.

I’ve commented recently that life seems less black and white, seems much more grey.  Well, I think that those shades of grey are the different vibes of consciousness that we can sit in.  At both extremes sit Love and Fear.  And the closer to the middle you get, there’s Gratitude and Hate.  And the Middle, well, that is where it gets really grey. So grey, it’s quite clear actually.

“You doing all this psychic work, there really are different dimensions, you know?” Adya would say to me, many, many times and while I’ve had my experience of ‘Darker’ entities rolling in I have had my doubts about this being much, much bigger than I.

Being in the body is a challenge.  We have life, we have others, we have [dare I say] responsibilities and well, it can be tough.  My Journey has taken me all over the levels of consciousness.  I’ve had some Dark times, been a pretty Dark guy.  I’ve also been the extreme opposite.  And I’ve always felt the beauty was to sit in the Middle, see it all with a little smile and to keep walking.

I always wanted to feel that there was something taking care of it all because there’s a peace in that I’d only touched until recent times.

The Inner Devil has shown up in three different mirrors recently, and recently that the consciousness chased me all over.  I have no doubts that there is something bigger.  I cannot prove it to anyone else but I believe it myself.  And that’s what I wanted in the first place.

And it was hard to get here.  The Devil is tricky and that consciousness delights in throwing us off, in tricking us.  There’s a reason that there are stories of the Trickster in many tales, every tradition.  I’ve had so many experiences of the Spirit, both sides speaking to me through many people. I felt like a Free Agent at times, seeing the duality clearly on each side of me.

It’s no longer scary.  My most recent experience with the Devil was the best, best in that I finally understood why I was drawing that in my space.  He admitted to me, as I asked him about his power, that he had none.  The Devil Consciousness itself, said it had no power, other than the power we gave it.  Fear has no power over us unless we give it power. There is great Truth in that.

As I had my conversation with the Devil, the third time in about as many days.  I realized that he just wanted to be heard.  The first time he showed up, it was as an extremely fearful being.  He came in that form three times, each time when I was helping people.  Then the Consciousness left me alone for awhile [nine months].  And then the Devil came first as a beautiful woman with a tale of helplessness and trying to dangle sexuality. In that incarnation, her Fear made her unaware as such though I feel in the end she’ll find her way, as she would later tell me she had money and knew it would all work out.

“Beware the trickster, Dear-uh.” ~Adya would say.  “There’s a reason he’s showing up now in different beings.  You are on your Journey to knowing who you really are…”

The second time he came at me as a man, an intense and angry man and I felt the protection, my crown ‘light’ up so that I was not caught unaware.  He was arrogant and I just sat there and listened.  At the end of it, I told him I was glad I could help.  He got up, left and on the way out:

“You sure you don’t want to talk to me, I have a movie Producer friend who could help you get a million dollars.”  That tripped me out because I had written that so long ago.  I realized that’s not how God works.  It’s not we tell God what we’ll do if he gives us.  God tells us what to do, we do it, then we walk and he gives. I felt so weak at so many times and I see why that mirror came along.

I got up to ask why he kept showing up and it was like he disappeared.  This is my life, it’s my experience and I’m telling you this man disappeared.  Two people would confirm seeing him with me but not seeing him leave or where he went.

I thought it was through.  I thought that was it and I realized there would be one more visit.  And I saw him immediately.  My gut knew exactly but in this incarnation he was ever so subtle.

‘You have a Light about you but there’s a little grey.’

I told him the Devil had showed up in my space the night before.

‘No, Satan himself! Oh man, look at that (he showed me chicken skin), you can’t fake that. I remember the first time he showed up, those black eyes, that look, you can’t fake that…’

And he leaned into me and I felt the energy flow through my crown to protect me and again I knew.  In this being, he played it very well.  I respected that, I respect the wisdom, the dance, I will never serve it but in order to understand life, I believe it important to respect those who know more than you and from his mouth:

‘The Devil is very old.  He knows a great deal.’

This incarnation, I realized showed me the pain that the Devil really has.  You see, the Devil wants nothing more than to Love but the Devil questions, the Devil doubts, when the Journey is about acceptance.  The Devil is a Master in his own right but even the Devil was created by God, by Love, and therefore that which is the Creator, the Hand that writes it all is the only level of consciousness that really knows what’s up.

I’m still processing.  I’m still writing the closing element of this first part of my Journey.  But I know where I stand.  I stand in the Light, as a Beloved Child, One with God.  And that’s where I always wanted to be.  I have no doubts about that.  Though in my humanity I may stumble, I may question, I have found my way back home and I know it will never turn me away. And I suppose, that’s what A Call to Love is really about.  It’s that we’re being called home and we each have a path there so long as we trust and walk it.  In so doing, one can be set free.

This last incarnation wrote a name, a number, a false book title, and weaved in tales of my own journey, trying to confuse me.  On the back of the paper he gave me, he wrote one word: Sin.

You see, the Devil can mask, the Devil can mince words, but the Devil wants to be known so I don’t think the Devil lies, we’ve got it wrong there, the Devil wants to be heard so if you ask It, it will tell you exactly what it is, how it has no power, and why it wants you.

The Devil tricks because the Devil wants recognition and cannot help but reveal himself, no matter how good the act is, he just wants the Light but he refuses to walk the Path and accept how it is written.

I took the paper and released it into the ocean.  I could feel it’s power and I felt tempted to call him. He told me he wanted my Light, that I had given him power, and he wanted me to join his group.

‘I’ve been looking for my Spirit Helper for a long time.  Things that comes from this conversation will impact others and it can change things.’

I had to have the conversations with the Devil to see my own reflections and to hear them because the reason the Devil, Fear and that level of consciousness gets the best of us, is because we don’t let it be heard, whenever we deny a part of the experience, it manifests as an extreme.  And that’s all it wants, is to be heard. Another reason why he couldn’t help but advertise who he really was. It’s easy to see why people fall prey, because the Devil wants what was lost.

‘Steven Spielberg, J.K. Rowling, they never lost their Inner Child.  I only like the first Harry Potter, the rest, bah.’

And it’s that consciousness, that part that just wants Love.  They say that Hell is to be in a place where there is no God and I have come to believe as the Hawaiians say, Aloha ke Akua.  God is Love.  The Devil in this last incarnation was very likable.  And I could see how even though he doubted God, Love still showed up in many ways to care for him.  He had chosen to turn off the Light.

‘The Bible, the kids these days are calling it the Basic Instructions Before Leave Earth.  It’s good.  But I like Star Wars.  The Force.  And your Light, ohhhhhh.’

Well, I’ve listened, and I have no more time for it.  Thank you to all my recent teachers. When Adya told me I was ready for another teacher, I had no idea what she meant and where she spoke from when that came to me.

I never in a million years thought I’d experience what I have in my life and over the course of this spiritual journey but I am happy.  There’s a grand adventure awaiting you if you allow it. Walk your path.  I guarantee what you find will only bring you Joy.

Praise. Love. Gratitude.

3 thoughts on “Adventures in Urban Mysticism: The Inner Devil

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