There’s a dance we’re a part of. And everything builds up you know? There’s a crescendo, there’s a moment of excitement, anticipation, the edge of your seat oh my WOW goodness that is the stuff the stories we see in books and movies that inspire us the most are made of. And those moments enliven us, move us, because it speaks to our own core.
I met a Welsh Gent the other night, a former Catholic priest, who was a good man, a great Heart, battling his demons. And he needed to talk.
But first, let’s bust a JMAW and rewind…
My Journey is mine and I see why, as best as I can at this moment in time, why that is. We grow up in a world that is severely disconnected from what it means to be spiritual and human. In order to be truly of Spirit, we must accept and relish in the Flesh. There are reasons we have the ‘trials’ and the challenges we do because we are following the invisible thread of the Spirit. Only in learning to watch and see that what is coming to us is what’s really going on within, do we really reach a place where we can see clearly.
I was visited recently by what I can only describe as the Devil. At first it was three incarnations spread out in spaces months ago, then it was three times in about as many days, then it was three times in mixed form in the same night (last night). Now, I realize, that the Devil just needs a hug, is a bit confused and wants to resist what God designs, because that part of us is really hurting. And if God is Love, which I truly believe, what is designed is not bad. It might not make sense but you know, we are meant to fly and Love is what allows us to do that. The Devil just wants to have it a specific way and that’s not how Love works. We can’t limit it.
I always wanted to fly, to know Love, to feel my connection with God. I’ve been on an intense spiritual walk and it’s taught me so much, so much that I’d never do it differently. And it’s shown me who I am, what that means, to understand why that is important.
As I sat there with the former priest, we talked and I felt his pain, I saw it clearly because I know my own. The only thing that’s carried me through it has been faith and in allowing myself to feel a connection to the Divine. When we open up, without a doubt we will feel it. But something within, wants to fight, wants to control when it’s that part which causes the suffering. As the ‘Devil’ came at me through ones we controlled then through those who were struggling, I could only see that I no longer needed that because I know what I want. It’s clear.
As I listened to this man, pour out his Heart, open up his Soul, the time passed and I sat with him. I gave him a space to be heard and to remind him that what he sought was out there. And it’s in that, that seeking, that I myself sought, that I found in so many ways, through so many others, myself and realized I needn’t have any obstacles. Life has enough of its challenges, it didn’t need me adding to it. In essence that what I was reacting to in my life, was what I was creating in my world.
It was time to go so we said goodbye and I said: ‘nice talking to you.’
He said: “I did all the talking. Thanks for listening to me, that really made my day.’
I smiled, parted ways and in that moment realized on a deeper level something else I wanted to do in my life. There’s people all over hurting who have a deeper connection and need confirmation of that. When I was but a child, I dreamed of traveling the world to learn and I always wanted to help others but I never knew how to do that and well, the only way I can do that is by being who I am. In that space, as I look back at what God gave me as I fought kicking and screaming along my Path, was millions of ways to see what I love most is being with others and opening up spiritually. And ain’t nothing wrong with that. It’s good work. I’ve been called a ‘tuning fork’ recently by a friend.
“You know how much money people pay Psychiatrists for what we do?” Adya would say to me.
Well, I’m ready for the Grand Finale. The Magical Ending, the type you’d see in movies. Not for anyone else to believe but for me because it’s what will help me do my work and well who’s life is it anyway. Doesn’t it come down to what I believe? And I do believe.
As I walked away from the man, I heard the Spirit say to go back and tell him something. I walked over and just opened my mouth and the words poured out: “Sometimes you just need confirmation.” I put my hand on his shoulder and walked away.
The Spirit spoke through others to me in so many ways in my own Journey Home and now I’ve learned to allow it to speak through me. I’m living my dream. It’s pretty cool.
Mahalo ke Akua.
Hallelujah Adonai! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!