So I had to work on Christmas Eve. It was dead. A wash. I get off, go to the car after eating some late night breakfast and find out that the battery is dead. I could only laugh. I took a breath, heard the chatter start to dial up in my brain, acknowledged that this wasn’t the most pleasant way to spend a Christmas Eve but laughed again and that chatter of ‘woe is me’ die down.
I went downstairs in the parking structure, caught a homie just getting off work for the structure and he said he’d come up. He told me: ‘that’s the second time someone caught me right when I was leaving.’ I was stoked. Got jumped. Drove home.
So I also worked on Christmas. They said they couldn’t close but somehow it was okay to not come in for the day shift but I had to work the night. Instead of three wise men, I got visited by haunted spirits. That’s okay, that’s why I’m there, and it’s been happening in such regularity, I try my best to learn from it because it does not scare me, it’s a part of life, and I must be strong enough and clear enough these days to face it.
Another haunted Soul would later tell me: ‘You’re an Empath. They say good healers are there to listen and talk to others.’
Well, I did what I had to, got off, got bumrushed by Doomsday and his predictions of hellfire and brimstone. I’m half motivated to publish and be out there just to shut him up. That’s very much a part of the smug human part of me. Another human part of me feels compassion for someone so tortured by the Universe he lives in, a Dark, haunted reality of Evil and that’s all there is. The Spirit part of me allows me to see the value in both sides and accept they make up who I am.
‘Remember you’re human. You can change people’s lives. People listen to you. I do and it’s f@cking w/me.’
After listening for far too long, I left. I had to. I agree to disagree and I was okay with that. I’m okay with my life. Was it awesome to be walking home at midnight on Christmas after getting bumrushed by Mr. Doom’n’Gloom. Not really. But that’s honest and I’m okay with that.
I got scared because of the dim lighting so I went a huge way out of my way and ended up where I would have walked had I not been scared. I laughed. Choose love over fear getting deeply engrained in me because either way, you arrive where you’re at, one is just easier. I finally took a cab home and went to sleep.
The next day, I reconnected with my homie, ‘Ice Cold,’ who just proposed to his now Fiancee. Had my car not died, I wouldn’t have had to go through the phone tree and get to him and get the jump I needed. He told me: ‘I’m glad you called, even if it was under bad circumstances. Call me if you ever need help.’
I smiled. I had made a list of what I was grateful for and I wrote family and true friends as one of them the night before. ‘Ice Cold’ was there for me during the ending of my relationship and after, during what was my Ego’s Apocalypse, worst things happening all at once. He saw me change and be reborn. It was cool to see the gift God gave me in that relationship right there. And I was stoked that he was getting engaged. I was happy for him!!!
I went down to Sears and the clerk there saw a key-chain hanging from the steering column of the X-Man, Rogue. She got excited and asked me where I got it. First words out of my mouth, not answering her question: ‘You want it?’
She didn’t want to accept it at first but I told her she could have it. I didn’t know why but it felt right. She got really happy and told me she had a bad Christmas. And I realized, rather I put it together, that’s why the battery went down the way it did. So that I could be there in that moment to pick someone up who’d had a rough time during the Holidays. I laughed and said: ‘I’m glad my battery died, because now I get to give you that.’ She laughed and looked really happy.
Christmas, like Valentine’s Day are special, but so is every other day. And at any time, we can find the Joy in life. Why not? It feels better than the other stuff and things just happen beyond our control.
I may not have had a holiday on Christmas but I was there for people who needed it and that’s worth something to me.