Closing Time, by alternative rock group Semisonic, resonates for me often when I take a step into the unknown. I’m a little lazy to search but I may have one or two or three other blogs entitled the same [minus the awesome Adventures in Urban Mysticism] way. Anyhow, it was closing time for my chapter at the Tree, the Enchanted Banyan, where I did Psychic Readings in Waikiki and I had the chance to read and interact with over 1,000 people last year.
I thought leaving would signal an end to the mystical in my life. Then I got bumrushed by all kines of Dark energy in the last few weeks. A man told me earlier, you’ll know the end of the fireworks show because they all happen at once. And I got swung at left and right until I stepped back to realize that I was encountering consciousness that echoed of the Seven Deadly Sins. When I recognized this, found the humor in my Catholic upbringing, I made a list and asked for the Seven Heavenly Virtues, and sure enough it dissolved.
My Teacher often tells me that I go through things so I can help others later. I [little ole’ me] thought it was just dealing with emotions and finding a way to enjoy the simplicity. I’d no idea how much ‘stuff’ is actually out there relating to the Intuitive and Psychic realms and how many people are being directed to go within and unite with their Spirit. I didn’t want to for a long time but it’s who I am and well, I’m happy to be that guy, because again, it’s who I am.
I was visited by Three Maidens that night, young women who had a few questions and one was driven to tears regarding love and self-worth. Another commented on not being good at anything but hula [I was like how awesome is that!!!] and the other expressed sometimes worry got the best of her. But in them all I saw hope, I saw great light, I saw the best. Perhaps because if I could walk through the Dark, see I was a part of it and that there was no harm to ‘Shine Yo’ Light!’ I know, I believe anyone else can. They left with a “thank you,” a “that changed my life,” and “I felt something happy when I shook his hand.”
I’ve had many doubts. I once lived solely from Fear. I still have my moments but just today I got a nudge to look beyond just surviving from a connection via synchronicity and I realized it’s time for me to fly [Ahem, have you not been writing A Time to Fly?]. The night came to close and as I was closing, I heard ‘one more.’ I did that reading and that was a wrap, I rapped out with a young Australian woman who was dreaming of becoming an actress and I said:
You’re a star in your own life…
I thought for a moment how it was the last time I’d say those words [in that setting you silly dog you]. There was a bit of a sadness at the unknown and at thinking who I may be closing off to by not being there. But I checked the sadness and knew I was only as good as I felt and I didn’t feel so good there anymore. It was good, it was real, and it was pau. And unlike other experiences I’d outgrown in my life (jobs, relationships, etc.), I walked away before it caused pain to myself and others when I overstayed. Of that I am proud because it shows I’ve grown.
As I closed up, I saw a woman on a bench smoking a cigarette. She had a light about her and we wished one another Happy New Year. It was the end of the year after all. She asked if I had a card and I passed it on, expressed it was my last night.
Woman: Where you going? What are you going to do?
JMAW: No idea. And this time, I’m not afraid. I hear my mind going but shoot, I didn’t know how I was going to do a great many things but it all worked out.
We chatted back and forth and we ended up speaking about God. She told me she was a Prostitute and she almost died a few months back. She’s doing what she needs to survive and she said her Heart was with God. As I looked at this woman, removed the roles and the label, I saw another Soul, on the Journey, just as I, doing the best that she could at this time.
I listened to her for some time, oftentimes I find that’s what people need most from me. As much as I can chat, I’ve always wanted to be the Listener [Adya dubbed me that a few weeks ago, self high-five!]. As much as I enjoy sharing things and get passionate, I love to hear and learn about others and their stories, their own Journeys.
JMAW: You’re an Angel you know? (My Inner Adya speaking up)
Woman: You’re one of the handful to tell me that…
She talked about the Curse of the Lottery, having so much and being truly tested and that the plan was to keep finding and trusting God. That’s Faith.
To me, as we say in Hawaii, Aloha ke Akua, God is Love, and it’s an experience that can only be felt. I felt it everywhere I’ve been over the last few years, from my home across my country twice, and in seeing it from mirrors, over a thousand of them, from around the world [and some other dimensions fo’sho] this last year alone, and who knows how many in my entire life. I can see that because I’ve found Love within me. And you know, that to me, that right there is winning the lottery. I always wanted love and to be loved. I always put that on others but I had to find it within my own being first.
Woman: You know, the Devil is out there, and for the Devil to come at one of God’s Angels, you know you’re on the right track because that’s the prize.
From when I was in the end of my last relationship, I could see that nasty consciousness lash out, and I hurt because I knew it wasn’t my Heart, but I was so far from it. As I did my walkabout, I felt like a free agent being recruited by both sides. I realize, I was tending to my own spiritual wound, one that runs far deeper than just this body and it’s taken lifetimes to arrive here…
I’ve been waiting for awhile for an ending that did A Call to Love justice. As much as I am of Spirit, I am a human and I get to play with those nuances and well, A Call to Love, did not feel complete.
As I looked at that woman, doing what she did and I realized fully that we each have our own paths and lives, and that really is okay. I finally felt released. I don’t know how I’ll pay for certain things. But I don’t care. I’ll be provided for. I don’t know what’s next, but that’s okay, I never did and trying to predict just set up disappointment by expectation.
I always have survived you know? As long as we’re alive, we’re in some way surviving and have an opportunity to heal the spiritual would, endure the Dark Night of the Soul.
And well, now, the Adventures in Urban Mysticism have been real, they’ve been fun, but now it’s A Time To Fly!!!