I am beginning to see a pattern here…
But first, I had to take my car to the shop for the fourth time in a little over a month’s time.
I inherited this car. It has some sentimental value but if I can release a ring and other nostalgic items that represented a Great Love I experienced, I can let go of a car. How am I going to pay for this, the new book, and other things piling up and the windfall going buhbye, well, I am not going to let Jason get involved. I am pretty much saying, okay God, I realize you can do anything, I am trusting you here.
But there is a thin line between Fate and Trust. I have been reacquainting myself with Osho recently and read an interesting discussion on Fate and Trust. What I took away from it was that those who believe in Fate are unable to accept failure whereas those who believe in Trust have an expanded consciousness, an awareness that allows them to not only accept failure but to believe that what they are creating in Life shall go forward and create new vistas, grander experiences.
I have failed many times. I have to trust those mistakes have Purpose even if it doesn’t always make sense right then and there. When we watch a movie, we don’t get the whole story until the end. Perhaps, that is why Life is so intricate for so many…
So when Charles told me about the car possibly being on its last legs I could only laugh. I laughed because this car and I have been through alot in a just over a year. We went to Court together, we went to Paradise Not Hotel daily for awhile, and we even left my spiritual teacher, all because of this car, this little teacher that could, and who once belonged to my Grandmother who told me why she did all the good deeds that she did in Life: For the Greater Glory of God.
Now it is not dead and gone, just yet it has some juice but it is time for me to look at other options. Naturally, I am kicking myself for investing so much money in Writing but hey, Live in the Moment, I have been and I believe in this Spiritual Writing direction because it was In-Spired by Dreams, Messengers, and the Heart. But I am Human to go with my + Being, hence the naturally I am kicking myself a bit and that is okay to because it is a part of my experience.
Osho also reminded me that Worry was just a part of Life. There is no point in Worrying about Worry because that just takes away from what is actually there and adds to the situation. Oh, Osho, the Sex Guru and the Rolls-Royce Guru, how I have missed you…
When we live outside of the moment there is suffering because it often replays what we have done (good or bad) in a negative light. But how could I have known this would happen? True, I did work as a Professional Psychic and I had a sense the car and I would not make it too far into the Summer together, but I didn’t know what that meant. I only had a feeling from my Intuition. I still don’t entirely know what it means. It could mean I get a new car, it could mean that I move, it could mean that I die..
Who really knows?
I do know recall from experience that if I focus too much on the next, as I did through so much of my existence previously, that will just create more suffering as well as keep me from enjoying what could be the last memories I have with this automobile or here in Hawaii or on this Earth. Who knows?
I told Charles the reason for my laughter was that I was Spiritual and I had a feeling about the car earlier in the year and this confirmed it. We got to talking about spirituality and I thought of Osho’s Fate and Trust. Charles was curious about what I meant by Spiritual and in talking about it we found that we had very open similar views and backgrounds. He also gave me a confirmation about the Intuitive Aspect of It All. And I hope I was able to give him confirmation because for better or worse, Fate or Trust, I believe all of these car issues took me there, to that location so that Charles and I could talk a little bit about God.
The Journey up the Lord’s Mountain is one undertaken Alone for we each have a Path along it. BUT, a very capital BUT, it is when we stop and connect, look around and share that we realize that though the Path is one filled with Alone-Ness, we are Called to Love, all Seeking the Same, to go Home.
It is reminders like this, that teaches me the value in what began as a fund idea, Ole Urban Mysticism. Experiences like this reminds me that my Path is not one of renunciation and that my Life has Purpose so long as I am Present to It.
Thx be to God and Mahalo nui Charles for your help with my car and in sharing your own Story.