“The Story is going to end. The Curtain is going to fall. When you realize the Curtain is going to fall, then what is the point… nothing stays, that’s it, but don’t commit suicide okay?” ~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
This has more to do with Writing and Expression than it does with getting married. I’m not opposed to marriage but I was once told I’d be married three times, which I found to be unnerving. I would talk with a friend who would share that one could be married to a job so that got me thinking then as it does Now.
Recent events, in recent weeks, have led me to really remember and identify that it is time for me to take yet another step into the Unknown. I do not feel weary so much as I feel like, okay, let’s go through this once more because it is that time again. It is frustrating. It is frustrating because who knows what I will find behind the next door?
I have more gratitude with each step of this Journey but it is a bit tiring. Perhaps that is why I keep going through the steps that I do, so that one day I will not be tired in moving and just Flow as Life is taking me.
So while I am once more leaving something that has grown old for something new that I not yet know what entirely it is, do I feel excited? Yes, slightly. I am excited at the idea of a fresh start, of new movement as I welcome applying what I have learned in the year of asking for a bigger Intuitive and Mystical experience into my Life, further striving to marry the Mystical with the Mundane. If the last few years and changes of my Life are any indication that change is always afoot and can be quite amazing, then why should I think otherwise?
Death was a huge guide that I discussed and is what I consider the big theme in AUM Vol. 1 Rebirth, for in order to be reborn, Death must occur. So I look back to those lessons and as morbid as it may be to some, I accept that this will all end. I need not rush it but I must bear that in mind if I am to Live in Truth and see that Thy Will Be Done, Not My Will. In probably one of the most powerful examples spiritually that we have of someone taking a step and not necessarily wholeheartedly wanting it (My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?), Jesus gave his Life to take a step. In non-religious examples, so have many others. It could be argued that MLK Jr., JFK, and Che all gave their Lives in taking steps along the Path. Even John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, and nameless others who though may not be known as widely, matter just as much to our Father who Art Thou..
So if that’s the case, what if the Death I find as I take more and more of these steps, is that of my Ego? I have grappled extensively with the Ego, we go back and forth regularly for years. The things I say today are at times quite different than what I sought to express in the past.
My Journey has shown me it’s not about the experiences themselves, but rather, getting in touch with how I feel as I go through them. Just like I didn’t feel good about doing Readings in the way I did them in the past, I don’t feel so good doing what I’m doing now. It’s no disrespect to the other people. It has little to do with them. I say that not to be selfish but in Truth, if I am not feeling aligned in the work that I do, than I will be impacting those around me. Whether someone feels I am effective has no bearing on if I feel effective. And at the end of the day, at the end of our Lives, we have to be able to look back and feel okay with what we did, how we did it, and what we gave.
So here goes, we’re about to take another step. Take care, see ya real soon. This chapter, well, that’s a wrap!