(Sigh). Seems appropriate to begin with a sigh. (Sigh).
Okay, I am ready. Here we go…
I have been facing a fair amount of adversity recently at work, in relationships, but thankfully my health and bills (the important ones) are paid (Chee huu there). On the one hand, I am stoked because I feel like I am finally in a place where as I am going through things, I am striving to learn and grow. On the other, in some cases, it is as though I am being asked not to be Human. And that?s a hard one for me because I have come to accept and be fond of that aspect to my +Being.
I have loathed being Human in the past. I have been open about that and should you peruse the annals of The Simple Voice or read AUM Vol. 1, you?d probably find multiple examples of the self-loathing of my humanity. How’s that for a dose of Truth for ya? Probably tastes just like Robitussin did as a kid…
Here?s some more Truth: Being alive is not always easy. It?s not. Yeah, I?ve read the New Age books, been studying various elements of spiritual -isms and -alities but Truth be told, it?s hard work. I can help, I can heal, only as much as I have done so in myself. And I haven?t always liked that nor do I realize, is my healing complete so long as I am alive because…
Because as long as we are alive there is more work to do.
I don?t like this take a grenade mentality or bend over backwards movements that I have but I cannot help it. It is who I am. And the hardest part is acceptance of this.
What I find to be even more challenging is that I am super open about all of it. I am more than willing to look at my Sh!t, explore and examine because I am far from perfect. I don’t always like it, but just like laundry, it has to be done. But admittedly, it is challenging when others do not allow me the space to do this.
This is where I am. This is how I feel. Yes, I have grown but yes, I have much more work to do. I am more than willing to learn and understand because I do in fact want to be a better Human + Being.
I haven?t always had help in others. And that is Life too. I have at times felt alone. Venting about that, remembering it, as odd as it sounds, helps. It helps me because…
All of that showed me that I have spiritual help and helped me to seek out and find Love in all aspects of Life, even if it means my back is against the wall and the only thing I know how to do is pray.
So as I let this all Flow and Go, hear me out God, answer my Prayer:
Thank you for seeing me fit for this Journey
Thank you for all of your blessings
I am a bit in a bind at this time
Please help so that these knots are untied
Please assist in making the Road smooth
Please allow a healing to take place
I need a miracle
Please send help now.
Let Thy Will Be Done.
Power of Prayer man… Nothing has changed outside of me but at the very least, I feel better within. As long as I got that, this connection, I have everything.
Mahalo ke Akua!