Turning the Page

I have two people living in my consciousness it would seem: a Happy One and a Not-So One.  Then there is the Observer, who calmly observes, and most likely laughs…

Being alive is quite a process.  As I deconstruct what makes me, me, and identify who I am, it is a beautiful, albeit at times alarming process.  I find myself in similar situations as before, the only difference is that my experience allows for more clarity due to the culmination of my experiences.  When I trained in Muay Thai, there was a teaching that really stuck out and it was often dubbed as:

“Not too happy, not too sad.”

It was a sub-teaching in the area of Balance and to Walk the Middle Path as opposed to walking from one extreme to the next constantly.

This sense of always having same type of temperament, by being neither too happy or too sad but just a little bit happy, was viewed in the Buddhist teachings that guided Muay Thai as a gift to the world because if you embodied this, you gave consistency to others.  In my relationship, I have been told numerously that I am cold and emotionless.  I find this to be surprising in my Ego because I fought so hard to live in the Human (which I once greatly despised) to go along with the + Being of my Spirit.  To my Ego, I am a Loving, Feeling Being.  Yet when I go into my Spirit, I am in effect Empty and the feeling I share is that I’m Cold.  (Which physically is interesting because my body temperature runs lower than the average and I get cold below 80 here in Hawaii.  If the body is the way the Spirit experiences the World, what is that saying, eh?)

Years ago, when I first breathed Life into The Simple Voice, I wrote about the Conscientious Observer and its role in Life.  It is funny how we as people, have it right all along when we look back, and as always the Ego takes us far from the Truth and/or inserts its slant…  To be a Conscientious Observer, my understanding of it, is to observe and be conscious of One’s thoughts as they float in and out of the experience.  Nothing new said there…

We are not our thoughts.

We are not our thoughts. 

We are not our thoughts.

And that is really okay. My Ego has cringed many times at that.  It will surely cringe more as I Flow through this Journey.  The stories I tell about myself and the stories I expect of others do not matter, for what is going to be, will be, however that is.

These stories that give us identity because of our Ego’s attachment to what they represent are ultimately meaningless because when we are gone, our Ego ceases to be nor will our Spirit care.  It is not that our Spirit is cold, it is just that our Spirits, our Souls leave the body and this plane of existence.  It is irrefutable that we shall all pass on physically, our Bodies shall once more be of Dust.  As far as we know, only Jesus returned but even then, not physically, ethereally.

If the Soul is not attached to the body and the stories that are experienced in the body, then why should we be attached?


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