“It isn’t necessary…”

As I step through days once or twice, three times so nice, I see how much of this Life is truly not necessary.  Today, as the gears in my mind began to spin about the stresses of the day, I heard that still simple voice within ask: “What do you have to worry about?”

It’s true.  What do I have to worry about.  Yeah, sure there are bills and the fact that my position at my job is responsible for ticket sales and that whatever that figures ends up as, that’s how we’ll be viewed.  Yet, a part of me is not concerned because having lived this Life long enough to realize The Creator has it covered, it’s easier for me to disconnect from the stresses of each day.

That’s not to say those things aren’t important.  In one system of experience, they are in fact quite important, but in the end, we’re all just stardust anyway so what’s going to be is going to be and I have to tend the Inner Garden so that it is in good order.  I truly believe that our Spirits are Free and One with God and that this Life allows us the opportunity to, should we allow it, find God over and over again.

It’s much like the parable of the Kingdom of Heaven being like a treasure in a field that Jesus spoke of.  Though we can easily get caught up in other things, finding the treasure that comes with fully Being in the present, is worth the hunt each and every time.

As I go through more and more stressful situations and see how much faster I rebound through adversity, I feel extremely blessed to have Faith.  It is what I sought for so long and I am very grateful to have experienced.  It is worth working on daily and it carries me further and further into the arms of Aloha ke Akua (God is Love) that is the experience all around me.

Mahalo ke Akua!

Nessun Dorma

“Nessun Dorma” is an Aria (song) from the Opera Turandot.  It holds a special place in my Heart because of its roll in my childhood…

My Dad was a fan of Pavarotti, one of the famous 3 Tenors, who has performed this Aria many times.  From the 3rd to the 5th grade, my Dad did part-time maintenance work (after his full-time job) at my Elementary school and I helped him out.  Every day after-school, once my homework was pau (finished) and I had a snack and spent some time with my Gran(dmother), I’d head back to school and get to work.

I can recall times where peers would be playing outside (I’d even get a few teasing comments) because my job was to sweep the cafeteria while Dad did everything else in the main building of school (Office, Library, Halls, and the dreaded bathrooms!).  After a time, we’d meet and finish up the cafeteria and mop, then head on home.  I grew to appreciate sweeping, mopping, and I started to grow a little more conscious of my actions as I saw what I dropped on the floor had to be cleaned up by another.

Once the work was done, we’d say hello to my Mom, who worked her part-time job in my school’s Business Office (also after working at her full-time job), taking over when Gran had a stroke. I have made cards for my parents telling them they were my first Super Heroes and it wasn’t just me being cute.  Though I have not always understood them (or they me I’m sure!), I’ve always seen how great of Human+Beings they are and have learned so much from the model of their lives.

My parents have taught me to work hard, to do my best, and to keep going despite the challenges just  in how they have lived and from what I have learned they have overcome in their own Journeys (thanks Mom & Dad, I Love You both!).

After saying bye to my Mom, sometimes eating dinner with her there, or heading home straight, is where the Opera began…

Many times, Pavarotti would be playing in the car.  My parents both listened to a variety of music and I grew up with the sounds of the 50s through the 80s, with a good amount of musical mixed in there so it’s kind of fitting where I find myself today…

As soon as “Nessun Dorma” hit, my Dad would turn up the volunme , and we would both try to sing it.  Neither of us know Italian but we did our best to harmonize and probably added a few random words that didn’t fit but sounded like they could (spaghetti being one of them…) and I just recall it being really fun and silly.

I have been told that I can be quite serious and I see that.  I’ve laughed more over the years but seriousness is just a part of my Nature.  My Dad can also be a serious one so the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree there.  To have that experience of singing and being silly as a memory is very meaningful.

It’s funny in some way because today, my Journey has led me to to Hawaii Opera Theatre (HOT) and how serendipitous, our first production this season is none other than Turandot.  I find myself putting all I’ve learned spiritually to the test.  The main thing I’m working on currently (in addition to maintaining everything else that needs care): not worrying.

At the age of 30, I made a list of 20 things I’d learned in my 20’s that I wished to not repeat and I guesstimated I worried for about 7.5 years of that time.  To find myself in arguably in my biggest role professionally to date, it’s a task to not worry, particularly since Life has only added more to my plate with each step of the Journey.

Recently we did a promotional event, a partnership between HOT and Magnolia store in Kahala, to promote the offerings and art of Magnolia while further advertising Turandot and our season.  Quite a few people turned out for the occasion and over the course of the 4 hour event, a Security Guard popped by a few times to check on us…

This gentlemen had a soft smile on his face and asked me how things were going.  As we spoke, he shared his own Love for Opera and began to sing excerpts from a few Aria that he had learned over the years.  It was pretty cool and I was impressed to see someone teaching himself (was learning through YouTube) and working towards his Dream as best as he could.  Whether he ends up on a stage or not, he did his best to share his Love for the art.  He moved along to keep working and I got back to work myself.

Some time later I heard “Nessun Dorma” and this man had returned and was singing to a woman in a wheelchair.  This lady is the Mother of one of HOT’s supporters and I heard it through the grapevine that she has been facing some health issues.  Despite that, she had the biggest smile and I felt like her Spirit was glowing, as if to say: I’m beautiful.

And she was/is.  She embodied a peace that I could appreciate.  I truly believe the the end of our lives is merely a transition and the Soul lives on.  This one looked as if she knew that though her body may rest with the Earth, her Soul surely would keep on living the Conscious Dream.

As I watched this gentlemen sing to a stranger, I felt myself moved, nearly to tears.  Each day that I walk, I get a little closer to God and what it is that is Thy Will Be Done for if you pay attention, if you wake up to Life, the dance with God/Love, becomes clearer and clearer.

Perhaps that is why I’m drawn to “Nessun Dorma,” which means “None Shall Sleep.”  Maybe it really is time that we wake up and see the beauty in this Life so that we can embody this same reflection within ourselves when we near the physical end.

I suppose each step will reveal more.  At the very least, I enjoy to seek the beauty and meaning, for it is always there…

Mahalo ke Akua (Thanks be to God) for this experience and Aloha Ke Akua (God is Love) to all out there!



End of Days

We fight, we fight, we fight…

To stay here, though fear, far Dear

To our dealings, and yet, it’s all so clear

The End, The End, The End, This is the End is Near.

So what end would we bring Now to the  Here?

It seems like Nature is screaming at us through how it is moving these days.  We have (or so the media tells based on research) an unprecedented number of storms, sink holes, tragedies and unexplained happenings that despite our instruments and abilities to prevent tragedy, hit close to home all around us and prove that Nature is greater at Chess than we are…

Is it really that hard to explain or are we just in denial?  Is that even important?  Or do we now just have the ability to study and analyze in ways that never existed before so everything looks a lot worse than it is?  Does any of it even matter when history remembers what writers say about it more than the actual experience does?

I have struggled daily with understanding why I am here on this Earth.  Over time, I have gained more insight and continue to learn through it all though still, my Path is not necessarily all Crystal Clear.  Sure there are moments of Great Crystal-Like Clarity but I am not at the place where that is my entire experience.  And that’s okay because I may never have Clarity in the way I think I would like to have it.  But I can guarantee that I will receive whatever I do in the way it is intended for me to experience.

Having studied my Dreams with the help of Mentors, Teachers, the work of Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell, I have my own ‘codex’ into the symbols that dance around me in Life as I walk this PAth that has been laid out before me on my Journey.

My Life today is great.  Today, for the first time in perhaps ever, I walked for an hour not worrying but observing the flyers on the grounds, the leaves waving with the tress in the wind, and all that I experienced in a walk to work, I gave thanks for all the things I saw and for the ability to walk and breathe.  My Life, through Faith and seeking to know God is Love (Aloha ke Akua), in every experience, each flavor of Life, has transformed my Life.

Yet, I am left once more feeling something that I felt years ago…  It is a burning desire to share something I’ve always felt but Life gives me more experiences and a greater understanding each day to explain.  Perhaps because in my Journey, this burning desire is the purpose I seek to grasp my purpose so completely.

We, meaning, We the People, of this time in the collective experience, will be our own undoing if we do not seek to change.  The chapter on our demise is not yet written nor does it have to be scripted by ourselves but when I look at the micro-system of my experience, contrast that with the macro-system of the world around me, I see the pattern, almost like a code woven in.  Perhaps it is because DNA is within all Life, that within systems, there would be patterns too…

I strive to share what I experience and learn in order to serve the World and honor the Beauty that is the Spirit of Life, Love, that of Aloha ke Akua (God is Love), that is at the very essence of all that graces this frequency of consciousness and experience.  I cannot tell you beyond sharing my experiences why I believe that because my words fall short time and time again when describing what I feel.

For a long time, I thought I had something to share, then I thought once I shared it through spiritual work and writing that I would be fulfilled and my Journey would be complete.  What I have found instead are momentary experiences of bliss like a scenic lookout and a feeling that I’m crossing something off the list but still, there is more work to do, and much further to go.  So much to share and only this Life to do it.

I think it important to put that last paragraph into writing for whoever may read it to reflect upon.  Though the Highs feel great, remember the Lows will come, and though that feeling is not as “pretty’ as its opposite, it is needed in order for there to be any sort of balance.  We can appreciate through the experience of extremes.

Fear is a commodity for it is the polar opposite of Love and a root from which conflict, all conflict begins because it lives within our very beings.  And the Greatest Fear?

That Life is ultimately Love.

We are afraid of our Nature so we fight, we harm and as a result, that Nature is stirring in such a way to command our attention.  To bring us back to the present and appreciate every moment, of every day that this human Life brushes across the canvas of Creation.

When it’s done, it’s done.

When it’s done, it’s done.

When it’s done, it’s done.

Everything has an Ending and what comes after the Ending is a New Beginning.  Whether Eternal Life is the Goal or whether we fade away, it doesn’t matter because living for that takes us away from processing the present.  I am not saying to be evil, I’m just emphasizing the importance of Living in ‘Current Affairs’ for if we Live Right Here and Now, for to do so is to find the glimmer of Light that is Great Truth, for in the core of the moment, ever so slight in those hardest of times and obviously blaring in the good time.   And that Great Truth?

The Greatest of Truth is one and the same as our Great Fear:

That Life is ultimately Love.