I remember about ten years ago I wrote a poem about Identity and published it on the then somewhat new and very relevant social media network, MySpace.
Today, ten years later, I don’t find myself questioning the great unknown so much but I do ask many of the same general Life questions, the most telling of which:
Why am I here?
Since publishing AUM Vol. 1, I feel like I have floundered at times. Where once, the courage to walk in the unknown was mixed with the wild, I now find myself not so aggressive. Is that bad? I feel pretty good and am fairly content with my Life so that can’t be it.
But still, am I doing enough? Have I said all I’ve had to say? I mean, I hardly write on here. It isn’t because I’m not experiencing. It’s more because the answer to that question is:
I am here to live.
I have been living my Life as fully and as best as I can over the last year. I changed jobs about half a year back that was one of the greatest changes to ever occur. It has helped me to have the most stability that I have ever felt in a Life that hasn’t felt stable, not because of what was going on, but more because of my unwillingness to move past the Ego’s desire to control and my inability to accept the changes that occur.
Since publishing, I cranked out two collections of more creative work, poetry and only two, count it, two essays. LOL, I tease because the first book was filled with commentary. The more recent works are more artistic, are much more inspired, and as honest as AUM Vol. 1, I finally feel as though I’m communicating some positive honesty.
I don’t think my previous work was negative but there was much more of a haunted element there because I felt haunted. Shoot, I sat face to face with the presence of the Least Holy, you’re darn right I felt as though I was haunted.
Yet, with the turn of each page in my Life, it gets brighter, and it feels better. It is strange to the say the very least…
I’d love to be like, yo, I’m writing every day again but I don’t know if that means writing on here or in my job, which also draws on creativity, or if I’ll be creative in crafting a new poem, of which, I’m quite pleased to share my poetry has evolved beyond my dreams.
I can’t say I wish chaos or that time of angst upon anyone but it sure did me some good to walk in the wilderness. To journey into the unknown, if only to see that is just what Life is and to let it be.
Mahalo Ke Akua!