A Trip to the Essay

It’s been a minute since I sat down seeking to write an essay, a blog, a commentary as I was once so fond of calling it.  But alas, perhaps, by chance it’s time to wax a bit, a time to let the thoughts just…


Or maybe I’ve been inspired by the younger lions out there who share their journey aggressively as I once sought to do.  Whatever the case, it’s been a rough 2016 thus far, maybe because it’s a longer year than usual (see: Leap Year).

Work has had its bumpy moments and the happenings in the personal arena have been a bit like the Seahawks this past season.  Well, at least the way they walked away without folding against Carolina was valiant and the postgame sentiments was filled with positive. In some ways, it left great hope for what is to come for that still relatively young, extremely talented core and in light of the fact that the championship was not hoisted up high, the moral victories had more depth.

But what do you do when the moral victories aren’t enough to keep wanting to fight the proverbial good fight?  I certainly remember those days and I won’t paint a picture that I don’t ever feel like giving it up from time to time.

I won’t profess to know what will work precisely for you Dear Reader.  I could probably advise if we talked a bit but realistically, a writer doesn’t always get the chance to rap out with readers and this blog is traveled infrequently, but as I’ve found over the years, it’s a garden I tend for I am the sojourner who enjoys wandering through it and seeing what’s grown, even if only for myself.

So Dear Reader, I’ll share with you what I’ve been doing as I traverse the so far rough patches of 2016 that has helped me to get through the rough patches.

I pray for what I’m happy about in addition to what challenges me because it’s really a necessary investment IMO.  In gratitude, I’ve shared a lot of fun moments with my Loved One.  I find myself looking at pictures of the cats when I’m ready to go negasonic teenage warhead (see: Deadpool).  I have listened to digital and analog music, written poetry, submitted poetry, taken pictures, and immersed myself in my work, watched some cool cartoons, and played video games.

Oh and I exercise, often.  In part because I enjoy, in part because I have to.  I’m technically amidst my physical prime as a male, but my youthful years are more rear-view than on the road ahead, so cast aside the illusions have I.  I’m okay with that because I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not sought more balance earlier in my life amidst the pain of Loss and the challenges I was given.

Don’t believe me?  Pulling for me to be like the Scott Bakula near 40 year old Freshman QB to make and lead the team a la Necessary Roughness (see: Necessary Roughness, in fact, stop reading and go Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, or Apple download that shit!!!) that our movies like to show us?

Well a calf-tear on one side in 2011, a calf-strain, mcl strain on the other side, not to mention the concussion (see: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) and countless ankle sprains (see: basketball) have added up.  The sum of the damagae definitely helps to eliminate the aspiration to win medals and hoist championships myself.

Unless someday I take up Pro Wrestling and get a run for the belt, but that’s a vastly different essay…

For the first time in my life, I feel pretty okay about the balance of things.  In the past, when I found something that works, I rode the fuck out of it until it was either past it’s expiration date or I got burned out in every which way (see: calf-tear and calf-strain above).

The past few years, well ever since the calf-tear, have taught me to keep walking, gingerly when needed, and to keep moving forward so long as I’m alive.  It has emphasized the importance of breathing, letting the heart beat-beat, and to keep faith because the moral victories are just as great as the championships.



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