Sick. Saddened. Shit.
Nah, that there with those last two. Not yet.
Another day, another year, another string of experiences. Words and comments and feelings reverberate like echoes in a vast, empty hall. What is my purpose? Why am I? At least I can reflect on those while the part of my Ego is upset, doesn’t want to deal with anything goes on and on and on.
Life can be a pickle can’t it?
While some might seek out pickles on their own, I tend to prefer to have them amidst other bits, as I appreciate the fullness of the flavor spectrum, not just the bitter, nor the sour, or the too sweet. The perfect pickle has a bit of all of that, not too crunch, not too soft, and it goes with anything.
About 15 years ago, I was introduced to the concept of the Middle Path, and I remember asking so many about balance. The answer I seemingly have found along and through it all is that it’s hard, takes work, takes time. As I stand in my life at the age of 36, I can no longer believe what the worldview of me is, when it is cast through the eyes of others. I have to see it and trust it for myself.
Perhaps that’s stubborn. Perhaps it’s selfish. But if I’m going to find that great place, the calm amidst the storm, if I’m going to make any real difference in the life of another, then I have to do it.
I must also stop putting my energy towards trying to lift others. It’s not bad. It’s not that I don’t care. I do care. But if I am going to help anyone else fly, then I have to go out there and do it, show it, prove it because perhaps I’m the hypocrite. I’m the one who hasn’t lifted off.
Who’s life is it anyway, right?
If that means, I’m the bad guy, I’m cold, I’m alone. So be it. But I do BELIEVE. I BELIEVE in Love in its most transcendental form and I BELIEVE that God does not make mistakes. So hate me, cast stones at me, disagree with me. It’s okay. I have no ill will nor do I fault another for their own experience. The fact is, that’s not how I feel about me and my experience.
So I’m getting on that plane.
I do HOPE to see you on the other side and never have I ever written words more HOPEful that they reach the heart & soul of another more.