Aloha ‘Oe

This past week I said Aloha to my Teacher, who called me her Teacher, when we first met seven years ago.  She has been my guide, my friend, my hanai Grandma, and never have I encountered someone who was able to speak at such depth about the spiritual journey.

She was the Light I needed at the time we connected and in the time since I’ve worked hard on growing and developing in Spirit and Faith.  It’s kind of crazy to look back on because it was so long, at times felt like wandering in the Darkness on Faith alone.  I knew I felt something that I couldn’t understand, there was this feeling of connection to something so much Greater that I believed to be real but no one could really explain it or relate to it.  So I just kept praying and trusting.

Then I met Adya and wow, almost seven years later, that time flew and oh, what I’ve learned and what Faith has confirmed.

“They say it’s time for me to go Dear, so you can get out there and start speaking.”

I have written forever, or as long as I can recall, but in the past 10 years, speaking on what I believe, what I feel has increased, has become natural.  I cannot help it.  In many ways, I think my fears surrounding it are dissolving with each breath.

I feel in knowing, what it is that is flowing forth from my Heart to share with the world.

Today a colleague of mine shared that I reminded him of his Dad, who began to get into his spirituality at the age of 27.  Before that, he remembers his Dad as an angry young man.  Sounds very familiar to me and that age is when I jumped haphazardly into embracing my Journey.

“You’re on The Journey, Dear.”

And I’ve been terrified, often, even when Light came in to illuminate the Path.  But I’ve never stopped working at it.  I have sought meaning over the last decade because chaos is largely unfulfilling.

Fulfillment has value.

It doesn’t always make sense in any given moment but it’s worth so much I’ll never be able to describe it.  That’s how vast Love, and God is.  I’m not perfect, I’m flawed, but there’s one thing this Life has demonstrated time and time again, that is probably the greatest teaching Adya ever shared with me:

“God Loves Me, EXACTLY As I AM.”

I shall miss my friend, but I’m grateful Life has seen me fit to grow me further, “to walk deeper into knowing God and Love.”  And I’m stoked that the Love I have long felt in my Heart, reveals Itself on the daily.

Art Like a Blaze Sparks Eternal Grace

It was art

from the start
I felt it in my Heart
like a blaze of Light in the Dark
Grace, the Eternal Spark
Now I’m lit
with the Spirit
Listen close, Love
Do you hear it?
Can you feel it?
It was art
from the start
paint on canvas from the Ark
of the covenant, no more
Floods, famine, or destruction
For we are Creation, Love
We are the Bearers of
His Light
We can take this Lamp
Shine it bright
Release the pain
No more Inner Fight
Cause our Love
is His Love
It has been since the start
I felt it then, feel it now,
Like a blaze of Light Guiding my Heart
Through the Dark
Your Grace, the Eternal Spark

Thanks and Praise

Though it terrifies my ego, I know that, I know that,
I know that I can trust and let go,
Feel this, vibe this, can’t miss this through the glean of a shared vision
Then it came to me, but a gleam,
one night, angelic dream,
as you, your Light, split the seam,
illuminating the Darkness
Piercing the veil with its sharpness
Now (Clarity) Here and
Adrift am I / A pause am I / A float am I?
I Am, He said
And His Hand extends through an
Endless abyss of vulnerability
Trust Me,
His Voice
In the Wind
As I was driven
To my Knees
Tears coursed for years,
Never a dry sleeve
But through it All
Because of it All
My heart says open
The beat-beat hopin’
Because it’s exactly as He’s
Been sayin’
So all I can do is give up thanks,
always praise,

So Long

It’s been quite the run for you and I, we’ve lived  as one fragmented being together so long, our grasp on the illusion of duality has helped Me, believe it or not.

Take leaving home, undertaking school on my own, if it weren’t for the fear, and the risk/reward/excitement, the impulsiveness of the decision to jump, to fly, might never have happened.  It was that pull, that opposite that was helpful in knowing what I Am not. Saying farewell to the adult loves, the prospect of facing the challenge of not having anything real, meaningful, has thrust us further into His Arms.

Any time really when the Fear has come or the script has run, you’ve been there, stoking it, growing it, and without that friction, I’d not have grown in Faith.

It’s a magical life my friend and you’re welcome to join some day.  But for now, I must say goodbye if you want to run the show. I just ain’t got no time for that type of Fear any more.  The Love is too Real and is glorious outside.