Ep. 2.6 – Sacred Tears

DSC_3569This morning as I sat across from a Sacred Presence, I felt so much Love, the Love that she carries within her own Essence, and the Love that Flowed between us.  I felt my eyes fill with tears and believe it or not, there were not words that I could share at that time.

Over the course of my Journey, I have projected a great deal of what I’ve hoped to find in this world.  And when I was reading folks on the regular, I would strive to share with them the Highest Good, that I felt.  That not so much a projection but a declaration in the Goodness that I believe exists at the core of Creation.

This morning was the first time I felt like the projections and declarations have evolved,  and rather, they are reflections of the vibe of Love I have always felt exists all around us.

For so many years, I kept my Light dim in hopes of fitting in.

There have been so many things I’ve done just do because it’s what you do if you’re alive in this day and age, yet, it wasn’t me living out my Truth.

If anything, it felt like I was ‘living’ in the pale shadow of Truth.

In that case, was it really living?

Or was it subsisting?

I’ve said it, wrote it, and will probably never stop doing it either, but truly, I believe that we are meant to

Live and Love Fully.

To see such a reflection, to feel such a Love, most definitely that’s what this (waves hands all around) time here wearing the masks and costumes of Flesh, are all about.

It’s time we remember.

Start crying.  You are Love.  You are Beloved.  I’ve said this before too:

It’s Time to Fly.

Aloha ke Akua.

Ep. 2.5 – Rebirth

“Boy I started on the bottom, made my way to the top. Boy I’m gon’ keep winning, no I cannot stop” ~ Lil Uzi Vert, Do What I Want

Sunlights vs. Tree

Facebook’s On This Day Memories reminded me of the time I was about to head to New Orleans by way of Georgia seven years past.

A funny story really…

I was in New York City, getting coffee in one of the subway stations and this woman in front of me was dancing about.  It is now so far removed, the details of her face escape me but I remember the coffee, the lights, and marveling at the how Free her Spirit was.  I made a comment to her and she turned and we began to chat.  In the few minutes that we spent in conversation, I managed to share I was “on a spiritual journey” and seeking to put the pieces of my Life back together by praying for dreams and following signs.

I hadn’t yet decided on where I would go but had a dream that I interpreted as taking the whole Inner Tribe to New Orleans, The Big Easy.  I also had other nudges and being in the rush to the finish line and figure it all out, I wasn’t sure where I’d end up after New York.

We made our way through the line when she said, “If you get the chance, go to New Orleans.  I think you’ll enjoy the energy there.” The energy was one of Rebirth.

I thanked her, a bit in awe, recalling the dream, how I’d asked for signs to guide me, and thought perhaps, this was a sign.

Then she turned one last time and said, “My son went there to volunteer.  His name is Jason.”

Stunned.  I hadn’t shared my name and even if I did, why would she make that up?  The Universe was yelling so loudly at me to let go, trust, feel the Love, and I fought it.

Fought it for so long.  And really, it was because I was afraid of submitting to the Love of The Creator as it was reflected all around because, gulp, I didn’t want to admit that I had that Love within myself the whole time.  As the Journey has continued since my experiences of Rebirth, then Adventures in Urban Mysticism Vol. 1 Rebirth, on to the Redemption that I am experiencing Now while Wading Through the Stream, it’s Love.

Just Love.  Absolutely A.L.L. of it.




The next time, you’re waiting in line, talking to a stranger, whatever, remind yourself wherever you are, exactly in that manifestation of the moment, is perfect, just as it is and Love is there if you open up to experience it.  We are so conditioned to focus on the acquisition of ‘treasures’ whilst chasing the ‘pleasures’ of this world, both of which are never enough, that we end up missing out on the depth of the moment and how that is  enough.  It’s more than enough and so are you, because that is the Journey, my Friends.

The Design of your Life is only beauty.  That’s all it is.  Have you the courage to believe you are worth of experiencing the natural grandeur of  Being?

Believe me, you do.  It’s A.L.L. you…

Ep. 2.4 – Last Train to Paris

Bullets Vol. 2 – Rage, Rage, Rawwwwwwwwwr
I am Rage / I’m back / Eh yo, You cannot leave me / I’ve been on the table / Ever since there could be / An opportunity / To deploy my vibe / Here I am / For you see /
I am Rage / I am Rage / I am Rage /
“Rawr” ~ My Ninja Kiree
I’ve had a shit vibe all day.  It always finds me around this time and space before a production in my ‘professional’ life. It’s the point where the work and stress levels have peaked and the outside factors can really tip the scale one way or another.  I see this, am aware of the pattern, so unless I submit to the fact that I cannot change anything outside of me, so stop the fighting, Rage will manifest.
That’s not to say Rage isn’t useful.  It is.  Quite.  Beautiful to be at peace with.
But the power of this energy isn’t appropriate for this arena.  “I knows this because I flows this.” The Dream Pusher told me once.
Sometimes the most magical part of the Journey is the continued recognition of how flawed and fucked up I am.  You want some alchemy in Life?  There you go.  Embrace the ego and go for the ride.  I can be quite serious but I’m also in on the cosmic joke.  This Life is so beautiful, so darn amazing.
But it’s also a shit show.
And that’s just how we have to roll somewhiles, with a sense of ah, fuck damnit.
It is what it is.
That blows my mind! On so many levels there are wonderful happenings yet you tune in to what’s floating about and you’ll see it all simultaneously.  The trick is being able to get on the train that’s taking you where you need to go (Elevation), not the one that leads you down the road to nowhere (Depravation).
I get it though.  The trek along Life’s Road as a Human having a Spiritual Experience and a + Being having a Human experience is difficult because the application of what is so easy, is what makes it challenging.
As I told my Ninja a variation of what I told y’all before, just remember:
The Universe Loves Me Exactly as I AM.
Mantra that enough.  Read your favorite verses from scripture.  Like a few inspirational posts from your go to profiles.  Listen to some phuncky Cypress Hill shit.  Maybe a little Future, Migos, or Gucci.  Do what you gotta to make you feel good and wanna holla:
Cause this is a just a dream that ends.  Everything ends.  As does this episode…

Ep. 2.3 – You’re on The Journey My Friend

“Woke her up around one, she couldn’t hesitate to call Ice Cube the top gun.”

~ Ice Cube, It Was a Good Day

Morning Foggy Path

Woke up about 6:45am actually.  And it wasn’t because anyone was there.  But I share this because it ties in nicely to how today started off a good day and how it has continued. Well, every day is a good day, but here’s the story to how this episode of J. Wading Through the Stream, aka The Conscious Dream Being Woke, began…

Having recently moved, I’m adapting to a new routine and exploring my new neighborhood.  Today’s adventure included the necessity to do laundry!

I know what you’re thinking:

Yay, laundry…

TBH, I actually enjoy doing laundry, especially at laundromats.  It reminds me of travel because I travel light and as a result have to do laundry on every trip.  I also play a game in my mind thinking of each time I do laundry as a check-point, or save location, in the video game that is my Life, honoring the completed missions since the last time I washed them boxers (and gis, so many boxers, quite a few gis).  Today’s check-point was located near a small cafe, appropriately named Mirage Art Gallery and Cafe, on the other side of Palolo Valley, where the Journey has placed me for this season.

The only parking space available was in front of Mirage and immediately looking at the place, I had a feeling that it was to be a magical space.  The decor and ambiance was flavored with the cultures of The Middle East, with inspired pieces of Art all around.  As I looked at the menu, I saw there was an Open Mic held there, along with options for Book Clubs and Groups to meet.  I smiled at the little wink, perhaps another nod on this Path I find myself on.

Speaking of nods and winks, just yesterday, I received an email from a gentleman in India, who is reading, my first book, Adventures in Urban Mysticism (AUM) Vol. 1.


Our Brother on the Journey shared some very heart-felt words about his own experience. I was blown away and still am because it made feel so small to put what I’ve experienced into words, sharing my Journey as it unfolds, what I learn, then finding out that it has resonance and touched a Life across the world.

That smallness continued at Mirage as the young barista there shared with me that he left his home in Compton to come to school out here.  He is compelled to serve and give back to the youth and on Faith, nothing else but Faith, left home and his Life has been working itself out here. As I listened to him, I thought of Adya, my teacher, and the first time she told me these words:

You’re on the Journey into knowing who you really are.

As we talked, I shared a few thoughts and smiled within because in hindsight, this process of discovery and feeling fuller and further how much the depth of God’s Love is, and how at time I’ve been such a sh!t, yet still, there’s so much Love, and my Life continues to get better and better.

It is taught in some circles that God hates things like sin but truly, if God is Love, there is no hate.  Sin, hell, these are spaces where we are not with God.  The only times we are like that are when we are out of alignment, questioning what’s unfolding, not trusting that this Journey is taking us home.  The Spirit speaks through our Intuition and if we follow the Invisible Threads of Spirit, we will KNOW the realness of Love all around.

That sounds all good and well, right?  It’s inspirational perhaps, maybe even stirs the Heart but… BUT, BUT, BUT!

Yes, I know the world around us is in tatters.  I don’t read or watch much news but I peruse headlines daily.   I also observe the world wherever I am and witness the micro-system of my Life and feel such reverence for this.  And that’s the thing.

The world is also in awe.

If we want there to be less tatters we must free ourselves from judgments and Let Go.

It is time we Let Go and Let Love.  It’s the only way we’ll elevate as a collective.  Until then, those of us who walk in and with Light must be who we are, full authentic expression of the Spirit, Alive in Truth, for when the Light is taken into the Darkness, a few things happen:

The Darkness is no longer that scary. The Darkness provides great contrast to the Light and is in fact quite beautiful.  The Darkness is understood.

Cause when we shine Light in the Dark, we can see.

The next time you ‘sin’ or ‘err’ and start to judge or wonder why did that happen, what was I thinking, yada yada blah, take a breath and remind yourself:

I am Love.  I am Beloved.  God Loves Me Exactly as I Am.

If you are Love and Beloved even in those moments of what in the eff, and start to feel that Love exactly as you are, watch what is revealed and how you start to view your Life.

Everything on this Journey is about knowing who you are, yes, just as Adya told me.  But let me expand that and say that as much as it is about knowing who you are, it’s about knowing what you aren’t.

No matter what unfolds, You aren’t a failure. A scrub. A bitch. A piece of sh!t.

You aren’t worthless. You aren’t unloved.  You aren’t alone.

Most of All, You aren’t evil.

You are a Human + Being.

You are a Child of God and while we might ‘sin’ or ‘err’ from time to time, all of that is so we go deeper into The Arms of The Creator.  It’s a part of The Plan, your Life, your Path, is already mapped!  I pray, I hope, I send Love that whoever reads these can go so deep on the Journey, they feel moved to tears by that Sacred Love we can be given when we walk with Belief.

My laundry finished up and I asked my new homie to pray with me.  We gave each other a pound, and he told, Bro, I feel so good. I don’t get to talk so deep like this.

I am always a bit taken back by that. Am I that out there, that it’s different for such conversation?  I live for this!  Whatever the case, I am grateful for the exchanges and also take it as, the World is ready.

We are ready.

We can rise up.  And we are meant to rise up for when Christ went as deep as He did, He paved the Path that we can follow because of the examples that exist in the symbols of His Journey.

The Path has times where we have to stand up, like He did in the Synagogue.

Times where we need to be alone, often much of that time alone in prayer, as is referenced frequently in Scripture.

Times where we feed everyone because we can through Love.

And times where we feel as though, ‘My God, my God. Why have you forsaken me?’

Every curve in Life is a piece to the puzzle into Knowing you are a Beloved Child of God, God is Love, and Love, Love got this.

I went my way feeling Light, feeling clean (I washed my boxers yo!), and excited for the new-new I’m walk into.  If there’s one thing that’s for certain, this Journey is guaranteed to give you back your deposit and more than you could ever dream.

Love answers Prayers!


Ep. 2.2 – J. Wading Through the Stream – Renewal

“It’s fun as fuck though…” ~ The Generalissimo 

Lighthouse and Sunset Dramatic Sky Edit

As we open up to allowing, we begin to see, hear, and feel The Spirit and Its expression in everything, Life around us, AND most importantly, our very own lives.  This is where ‘the veil parts’ and those moments of openness are when one exists in the Flow State of Being and that is where Knowing resides.

By Knowing, I don’t mean it’s knowing it all or being a know it all.  More so Knowing in this spiritual sense is the ability to see, hear, feel something that has not yet manifested in our conscious experience.  The shackle is fear, doubt, shame, insert whatever that makes one feel like a full Life of Love, is undeserved here.

Next time you feel inspired and the first doubt creeps in, before it consumes, PAUSE, then simply ask:


Why am I in doubt of myself when something within in my +Being feels so pono (righteous, sound, whole, will benefit the world)?

There is not a single good answer for the doubt.  But there are roots.

The roots for much of our dysfunction can be found in the internalization of falsehoods that get implanted early on.

“Dumb kid.”

“You’re no good.”

“Too fat.”

“You’re ugly.”

“This, that, otherwise…”

People we love plant these seeds.  But we water them.  As we release and forgive ourselves for being who we are, as we are, the water of Life can be redirected.  Not only will we feel better, we will feel compassion for those falsehoods are not the Truth of those we Love.

They are just weapons of the Adversary, creeping in, soiling the Inner Me, in turn flipping our own Egos into the Enemy, pawns of the agenda of Fear, that a corrupt level of (un)consciousness uses to control.  We need not be bound by such limitation.

We need only BE.  We need only BREATHE.  We need only BELIEVE.

Jesus said that all we needed was Faith the size of a mustard seed.  A mustard seed!  A little itty, bitty, super tiny mustard seed!  Faith gets mixed for many, so think of it this way, all we need is HOPE.

If a single candle can Light a room, imagine what HOPE can do for the dark corners of a single Life.  Imagine if many candles came together, what collective HOPE could do for the dark corners of a collective world.

I’ll tell you this much, perhaps we would see.

Aloha Harder.

Ep. 2.1 – J. Wading Through the Stream – A New Release

“Everything is coming together as we steadily come apart.” ~ The Maui Mystic



What an interesting concept.

September this time out of the corral has by far been a walk to remember as it’s replayed my walk from seven years past (that you can read about here) in a way I could not imagine.  As we’ve reflected before, the deeper one goes, the more expanded consciousness becomes, and wow.

‘Wow’ is the only fitting word to describe #thefeels that I’m feeling right now as Life and the World around me continues to shift.

The month began with a move into a new space and again wow, the energy, wow oh wow oh wow! It’s included multiple Light Meditation sessions and has brought me back to doing the spiritual work I thought was over (in case you new here, I used to give readings and do intense spiritual work with folks).  From the get go, I’ve given a blessing, been asked to do a blessing for a cousin who is like my sister (yay Cybil!), recorded a download of spiritual reflection, which I hope is a blessing of Aloha to those who hear it, and I feel ever more in tune with The Spirit and feeling The Creator’s Presence all around.

It’s definitely been full as I’ve opened up to really seeing and feeling the expression of God throughout my Life.  As I’ve felt the abundance in such fullness, my cup is truly overflowing.

How did I get here?

How am I this calm cat who’s stoked about existence?  When last J. Waded through the stream, we talked about embracing the suck.  That’s integral.

A friend and guide in my own Journey shared:

Everything is coming together as we steadily come apart.

Now, if that’s not some poetry that shatters duality, I don’t know what else might be.

As I’ve deconstructed myself and my world views time and time again, focusing on Love, Freedom, and Allowing the Full Authentic Expression of my +Being as God Created me to Be, it’s been a mix of intense bliss coupled with overwhelming sadness.

At the center of existence, there is a place where it all connects.  I’ve long thought the moment held it all.  By all, I mean experiences of feeling: happiness, sadness, anger, depression, and so on.  Similar to Love and Fear being at extreme opposites, the same can be said of different experiences and the feelings they evoke.  Yet in the center point, when one strips away all the bullshit of the mind, you’ll see it, KNOW that place, and how it feels.

It is where connection is planted in Love.

To look upon the world with bias is to fail to realize the connection of Love in all occurrences in our Life.  A connection can be in Nature, in a moment with a Friend, or alone.  It can be experienced in the highs and the low.

Those threads, those are the ties that if studied, will lead one to the spiritual liberation that the great ones who came before pointed us towards.

Don’t believe in mediocrity.  Believe in Greatness.  To achieve Greatness, in Consciousness, first and foremost, be willing to say fuck all the bullshit, and rise up to see the active co-creation of this.

If you are willing to go through the looking glass, I promise you that you will:

Recognize where we get too bound by condition.

Do that, and thou shalt be healed.

Because guess what?  The shackles aren’t real…