(Re)Turning Keys

Today I turned in my keys and checked out officially from my home of the past four years.  It’s funny because about four months back I got the layout and flow where I liked it and I was reminded of something my ex told me:

“Watch, right when it feels like home, it’ll be time to go. ”

Today is also the third August 31 that I am experiencing in a year as I left Tokyo on August 31 of this past year.  On the second August 31, my ex-girlfriend and I finally completed a long break-up to our nearly four year long relationship.  It was a relationship filled with many break-ups, move outs, and back and forth.  In a conversation that took place after we stopped talking and trying to be friends, we both agreed that we were grateful for the experience together but that we were in much better places apart.

I remember the first time she returned keys to me.  It was maybe about six or seven months into our time together and after a big fight and moving out, we agreed to meet at Kaka’ako Waterfont to talk.  I remember crying much that day because despite our differences, I got her.  I understood unresolved hurt manifesting in pain and I felt it as it coursed through her into outbursts of anger and extremes.  I got that part, very well.

We raged with much pain, on both sides of the mirror, hers and mine.

I used to say that the good times were great between us, while the bad times, they were extremely terrible.  I’ve never been in such a struggle that took me so far from my Truth. I’ve never felt more tired and questioning of my Journey.

Just as that was dual, so is Life, and truly it wasn’t all bad. While we weren’t meant to last, I’m grateful because I learned a great deal more about Living and Loving Fully.  In Life, if we get a second chance, we’re lucky.  I’m blessed to have a third Aug. 31 after a year, a season of great change. to reflect and see how much I’ve grown.

Never look back in anger at this Gift of a Life that is leading us deeper and deeper Home to Love, as written by The Creator.

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