This might be TMI so you’ve been warned.
Today as I doing my business in the bathroom, last minute business crept in via text message. All I could do was continue to ‘let go’ since I was doing just that, and laugh at the cosmic joke I found myself in, then start to work on addressing the challenge…
But first, let’s rewind.
My ‘day’ job is Marketing Director for an Arts Company that stages world-class multi-million dollar opera productions. Technically, the full title of my role is HOT Marketing Director. I tell that to people to some eyebrow raises like ‘who the eff this guy think him stay be’ followed by ‘I’m paid not to sing’ which brings forth some laughs.
It’s never a dull moment here and workload and responsibilities have increased each season. My boss seems to dream up new ideas even though I’m fairly certain he does not sleep and our activity peaks in intensity for 8-10 weeks at least 4x a year, and when you work with hundreds or artists (singers, designers, musicians, and more), it can be a bit like coloring with the whole box of crayons, at once. That can pile up on top of itself when productions are in consecutive months, yet in terms of major campaigns, with dozens of projects and tasks for each, it takes about 8-10 weeks to adequately promote a production.
We open our Season in a few days, which adds another degree of complexity and meh-are-you-for-real, so without lots of descriptive language, in addition to all the colors, it’s been fucking batshit crazy. In the past week alone, I’ve been yelled at or talked to sternly 5x by 3 stressed different people. Now on one level of consciousness, that irritates me, but when I can step back and let go, it’s funny, because the question I ask is this:
What mirror am I looking into?
Searching for the learning makes me really look at my own stress and how I process it.
When we closed the first volume of J. Wading Through the Stream, I was about to enter that 8-10 week period, with the heightened cray because the Season opened, in addition to processing the end of my longest relationship, which while both of us are in better places, wasn’t necessarily easy. In the year plus since, I’ve lost 45 pounds, my bloodwork and blood pressure is all g, and I credit that to again enhancing my spiritual practice further. Let’s be real, it’s not like I could stop the spiritual quest. Rather, it’s go even deeper every day because as more presents itself, the challenges of mental-emotional-social can definitely weigh your Brodie down. The only way to balance the scale is to go harder spiritually because God/Aloha/Love is one heck of GAL, who’s always got yo’ back.
Releasing the physical and symbolic weight I was carrying from that experience has certainly helped me travel this period of work cray-os more smoothly but I too, get exhausted, overwhelmed, and all the eh’s from meh to bleh to keh to (whatever consonant-eh fits here).
And I’m there.
I’ve been so there.
The good news is that right about now, or rather as I sat there ‘letting go’ I saw my ego and didn’t care what itw was saying because, eh, what will be, will be, and it was funny to be problem solving in that setting. It’s interesting for me to watch, all of it, especially what I’m facing personally as I walk through the stages of a new partnership, and look even deeper at all the elements of my Life, putting the pieces together that I might see the whole that much clearer.
The experience of time and the deepening of awareness provides a few reminders aloud with some new subtle a-ha moments:
YOU’RE ON THE JOURNEY – every step of the way! Just because you think you have addressed something before, doesn’t mean you won’t be taken into a new perspective as those steps continue because…
HEALING IS LIFELONG – that means, it doesn’t stop until the final breath so whatever comes up, no matter if it’s a new way of looking at something old, or an old way of taking in something new, it’s all good, it’s all valid, and it doesn’t stop until…
THE JOURNEY HOME ENDS IN DEATH – until we draw that breath of Shoots Kay Aloha, all the breaths taken before lead us closer to The Creator, with every opportunity to breathe in the Fullness of Love that this Life is really All about.
JUST KEEP BREATHING – Do this because it gets better and better.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, at the very least my Brethren and Sisthren, do you, keep flowing, and always, always, always,