Right now, I feel all of it.
Maybe it’s been like that all the time because I’ve often meditated on Okay-Ness (my take on Mindfulness, let’s call it Contemporary Mindfulness, ha, how’s that for philosophy?) as being okay with the moment as it is, for that recognition allows us to see every feeling exists within each experience. With new Light in my Life I’m just being made more aware of how everything is present always.
It’s a bit like like walking into a garage in the dark of night. You turn on the Light, and really see everything in there for the first time then… BOOM! There’s the clothes you’re donating next to the unpacked box from college, and oh snap, those albums from childhood in the closet, a fixer-upper project in the corner, and well, a whole bunch of stuff from past seasons still there (in consciousness).
It’s been overwhelming me to be honest.
I’ve worked at cultivating my Life into being self-sufficient, relying on Faith, and surviving no matter what. It’s not quite dancing like World Class Ballet, but it’s the what’s gotten me this far, which ain’t all that bad. But, I’m being charged in this Season of Life to let go, to grow, to (gasp) really allow in (be careful what you wish for, I wished to be able to be vulnerable and sh!t…) and enjoy the walk with others.
That’s part of what’s compelled me to process stress, the factors, my capacity, what depletes, what fills and where I am in order to visualize consciously where to go forth. Allowing myself to Love, to really be without Fear of feeling whatever I’m feeling recently showed me how much the current stress impacts me in ways I’m not fond of.
Each day, I’m slowly understanding more about where my place in the Journey is. And the joke is that right now, it’s kind of like what the f@ck because there’s a bit of really good going on in my Life too. But I’m sure the cosmic joke is always there.
That’s what I mean by feeling all of it; seeing the thin shroud of duality eroding. Subscriptions to even more constructs we’re conditioned to adapt to getting cancelled with each passing Season, not because we said so, but because if one honors the call to Love, and discovering the Fullness of that on the Journey, well that doesn’t mean frolic.
And it’s, it’s, it’s…
It just is.
Another catchphrase, #itjustis.
Acceptance, submission, such a core theme throughout my Journey. If we cannot accept that Life is beyond our control, even the feelings that we feel when we feel them showing up to teach in the most unexpected of ways, well then there’s no point in Wading Through the Stream.
The ebb and flow of the Universal Waters of Consciousness, all lead, each step, each stumble, Home, to the Source. Whether that’s God, Love, Ether, Nothingness, that’s not my call for your Journey. And I’m deep as f*ck and this wading is taking me into a freestyle stroke pretty soon, so best I learn to swim else next Season will be J. Drowning in the Stream but that will never happen.
Cause while I learn and strive to thrive, I’ve no doubt, no matter what I face, I’ll survive. Because that also what it means to walk home to Love through The Spirit. And the one set of Footprints in the Sands of Time are Divine after all.
And I’m okay with that.
This ends J. Wading Through the Stream, Season Two. We cried, we laughed, we swore , we poetry-d and as so many of my collections of writing conclude, on to the next one, for the Adventure continues it would seem.
So there’s my AHA – Aloha Harder Moment – for this text. It’s been fun. It’s sucked. Yet as we shared in Season One, sometimes you have to Embrace the Suck to Share the Stoke.
So FTG! BAM! Choke bishes (no don’t do that). Whatever. It’s all of it. Oh Muahaha. Muaha-ha-ha. Or…