To the World – 3.26.17

Evolve my resolve if only to solve (if only to solve)

Life’s biggest questions with more questions than answers

While you stay sleep  I be woke, then I spoke, we stoke the fire, now smoke

Signals flying high through the air, ask my thoughts on the sign, I just don’t care,

Cause Life just ain’t fair

And I ain’t gone be a scare, I ain’t gone be a scare

It’s time to shine, my rhymes gone rhyme, about damn time

No time, oh, now you fine?

Fucked up

Insecure

Neurotic

Emotional

F.I.N.E. that’s cool cause I ain’t got nothing but love for each all, friends, family, loved ones, past present future, and any who may be an enemy

Cause the reflections, they vast, and they true, and guess what, it’s all me, that includes you. We fucked and we free.  The Universe is Chaos, but that’s what it means to be.

We and we free.  The Chaos has meaning, but that’s what’s chaotic in being.

So let it be, can’t you see, can’t we see, smile for me, smiles ‘n deeds.

Now look in the mirror, the tide of recedes

Part the veil, the tide washes in, a new rise, the sun rise, it lifts up beyond Her, His, Your, My, Our Cries

Our Cries

Our Cries

Our Cries are the audible sound of the ethereal tears of Love, of Joy, of All that the Creator set in motion with the Word.

 

 

Classic Laughs

The other day I was rapping out with these 71 year old Aunty who volunteers with the State to give Seniors a buddy.  It was a cool conversation and we somehow talked about how the elderly population has the highest increase in STDs in any population group.  I was trying to be PC so I used the word ‘promiscuous’ because somehow, saying ‘f*cking’ or ‘sleeping around’ didn’t seem to flow.

“How come when young people do it, it’s called friends with benefits?!” She asked energetically.

I started cracking up.  This lady, she had a spark to her. She went on to tell me her age and that the older you get, the more direct you become, and that she was still out there, looking but not looking hard.

As a licensed wedding officiant, I told her, when you find that person, look me up, I’d like to perform the service.

She laughed, wrote my name down, said our goodbyes and the journey split.

Classic.

The Toll

This is a classic.  Enjoy.

“No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend’s were.
Each man’s death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.”

For Whom The Bell Tolls by John Donne

 

 

Broken, No, New

Broken dreams
Broken themes
Broken screams
Empty beams
Or shades
Of light no longer linger
For just a flicker, a glimmer, of hope arises
My inner gleam can’t be denied no further
Let the Love Shine
Let my Life Rhyme
Let the Love Shine
Let my Life Rhyme
No dreams
No themes
No screams
Cause I’ve most more found meaning
In believing in Love within
So fuller
For as the hope expands
My inner gleam stretches yonder
Let the Love Shine
Let my Life Rhyme
Let the Love Shine
Let my Life Rhyme
New dreams
New themes
New screams
Of joy linger
along for
I’ve found what I sought all
along. I’ve found who I fought
all along.  I’ve found out how
myself can be so full at last
So then, so long, I say farewell
despair, adios, see you later
It’s my time to shine, never mind the ego mind
Say goodbye, go ahead I dare
ya to
Let the Love Shine
Let my Life Rhyme
Let the Love Shine
Let my Life Rhyme

Different Methods

“No painting is not done to decorate apartments.  It is an instrument of war for attack and defense against the enemy.” ~ Pablo Picasso

An instrument, a tool, a vehicle, all of the above for our chosen outlet of expression, applies.  Writing at times has been my therapy.  It is also my platform.  It is the weapon I yield to protect, to defend, and at times strike deep through the experiences of consciousness that I traverse through.

“Lovely day for a walk.”  A stranger, who looked like Santa, told me in passing earlier.  It’s always a lovely day for a walk because this journey unfolds, step by step.  If we are called to speak with our artistic voice, we must listen.

 

New Release

“The struggle defines you.”  The stranger told me.  Who said that I questioned?  He laughed.  “Me, I did.”  A pause.  “It’s a family saying but you can use it before I copyright it.”

Now, I laughed and shared that I just might as a writer.

“Oh, okay, I have another one for you then.  One day, I picked up this guy, from Alabama, only had a pillowcase to carry all his belongings.  He was probably near rock bottom, that guy. Anyway, he had a call from his girlfriend, who had been out late the night before, then he tells her:

Show me your friends and I’ll tell you your future.”

Sound familiar?  Your vibe attracts your tribe.  Surround yourself with the type of people you want to be like.

“You have to remember your karma moments, even if it’s five seconds, that’s cool.”  My friend told me after we shared coffee and the recent adversity we have been dealing with in our lives.

“You’re the type of person who can stop and be fully present like you did the last time we hung out and you stopped to take a picture of the reflection of the clouds in the window.”

A window on a building just behind me.  Amazing how where your perspective is, the view of life can be impacted, eh?

A few months back in Korea, as I walked through the Ihwa Art Village, freezing, and staring at the golden, red, orange, and brown trees touched by Fall, I caught a moment where I felt at peace.  Just a small moment in I can’t tell you how long before that, my awareness of it breaking the feeling but leaving me then with gratitude.  That moment reminded me of when I was taking a journey across the United States and sat on the grass in a little park near Pike’s Public Market and gazed out at the Puget Sound.

Just two bookend moments, marking a long period of healing, release, and living.  Two bookend moments that I needed.  That’s not to say there hasn’t been happiness or positivity this decade.  There has been that too.  The grind has gotten to me, and at times, the people I have been around.  Forgetting the five seconds, or longer, that actually does exist each and every day, no matter where we are, or what is going on.

I’m going to embrace those five seconds, the reflections, whatever, otherwise this drudge will last too long and I’m tired of the struggle being what defines me.  In grappling, the more you struggle, the worse position you can end up in.  And though I’m willing to submit when needed, I certainly don’t have to put myself in bad positions to the best of my ability.

Worth a try.  I know what forgetting to focus on peace, hold on to it is like.

Aloha.

‘Motions

Start.

Stop.

Enter a title.  
Then Delete.
Close tab.  
Go to dashboard.  
New post.  
I want to write but I don’t feel inspired.  I’ve felt nauseous for days.  Drinks with friends mask the pain.  Finally find sleep for an hour to awake for a few more then drift off and on the toss met by the turn.
Set an alarm.  
Reset it.  
Hit snooze.  
Push the cat away.
I can’t do this.  I can’t open my eyes, too tired am I to face another day.
Go through the motions, I’m half-here.  I’ve always walked between worlds before, only this time I’m so hollow, I wonder if this is what it means to be incomplete.
Delete.  
Delete.  
Deep breath.  Time to pray. Give thanks and thanks and thanks but I’m hollow, so hollow, thanks feels hard to say.  Thanks for what?  A part of me thinks.  Laughter somewhere, a part of me drinks in the experiences of ‘such is Life’ but with each new day, I’m just trying to make it through
the Night.